Its been a while since I last posted anything and theres a reason for that. Ive decided not to continue with the blog or my writing for the foreseeable future. This hasnt been an easy decision for me to make, but I need to resolve some issues away from here before I can carry on.
Im carrying a lot of scars from my past which I hoped would heal if I shared them with people I didnt know. The way that sometimes you connect with a stranger and tell them things that you wouldnt dare tell anyone else, well that was you dear reader and I thank you for it.
The problem is I have started to revaluate what is important to me as I grow older, at what point do I say enough is enough and I need to make sure that I am happy instead of taking the shite and abuse that has been the hallmark of my life so far. Today is that day.
I have many things that make me the person who i am, many experiences, some good, some bad. History is beginning to repeat itself with some of the issues I am now beginning to face and for my own sanity I cannot and will not go through it again.
From this point on its about what makes me happy, that will upset a few friends and family members but I have to address these demons I carry. Im tired of flinching everyitme I get an email, Im tired of reading peoples comments and seeing the facelss dig that has been passed my way. Im tired of the forced conversation and the digs which you think are funny and amusing but which cut me deeper every time.
I need to find my true friends in a non virtual enviroment, I need to see where my family ties should be cut and where they should be mended. I need time to face all of this and I cant do that trying to keep content on here all the time. For once Im putting me first before others. I need time to heal.
I thank you for your comments, your retweets, your encouragement. I didnt want this blog to fade away and people to wonder what happened to it or me. I may come back to it in time, who knows one day I may even be proud of what I have written. I have always been honest and truthful with the stories I have shared with you all, for now though I feel I cant really dig deep down and tell you what makes me tick for fear of the upset and pain it may cause others.
Some of those people I care about, others I dont and until I am able to differentiate between the two I cannot carry on. I need to be able to share a story or tell an experince honestly and truthfully and until then I shall stop writing. I thank you again and one day I may return, until then I thank you and wish you happiness and peace.
Anthony
You need to stay happy and healthy, that is far more important than anything else, writing included. It sounds like an awful lot is going on for you, much of it unpleasant, and I can understand that when people close to you read what you write it can make situations very complex. I hope you find what you are after, and one way or the other please think twice before you delete everything you've written.
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