Sunday Dinner

Theres a tradition in my family that started when I met my wife. Its nothing fancy or difficult but just something that has happened every Sunday for years. My In-laws and myself along with my wife and her brother would have Sunday dinner togther. Over the years my Brother-in-law would bring his girlfriends to this meal and eventually his wife. Other parts of the family would pop by every now and then but at the root of it all was us.

During the summer months we would progress to a BBQ outside and sit in the sun drinking cold beers enjoying each others company. With time my kids appeared and we would watch them run around the garden. During the winter it was roast potatos and meat huddled in the front room telling stories about how our weeks had been, the good and the bad. It was something too look forward to.

If anyone wanted us they knew where to find us, an open door policy operated, if you wanted to come you could and if there wasnt enough chairs then you ate it on your lap on the settee. I dont know how she did it but she always made sure that there was enough. My mother in law was brilliant at it.

This has carried on now into my new home. It wasnt something I intended to do if Im honest but after cooking everyone Christmas dinner two months ago, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would, I guess its my turn now to carry it on for years to come. Every Sunday since then its been all round mine. I start cooking the meat then its all over to the fields to work up an appetite which allows me to share precious moments with my kids and also allows me to hopefully make memories for them as well. 

This weekend the world and his wifes cousin decided to descend on my humble abode. My daughter invited two of her friends, without telling me, my sister arrived with my nephews and their mate as well. They are good kids, polite, pleasant and fun to be around. There was a dynamic change this weekend though, as I sat in my chair at the top of the table I watched them as they tried to be comfortable around each other. The boys awkward and embarrassed, the girls all giggly and nervous as it was clear that there was perhaps the first flutterings of feelings coming through.

I was never a great one with the girls as a kid, I could make friends with them easily no problem at all but I would have needed to be hit in the face with a shovel to pick up on any 'signals' and I guess I missed a few oppoutunitys with it. I did okay as I got older, although Im convinced that had more to do with dutch courage than any sudden change in my social skills.

I watched the looks the girls gave each other, a look only the female of the species would undertsand that 'I like him' that my duaghter is so good at picking up on. I watched as my nephew not quite old enough to understand what was going on (his mother hopes anyway, as my daughter is a few years older as are her mates) but embarrassed all the same. His friend turning red everytime one of them laughed or said something to him and us, the grown ups, well that would exclude my brother in law and I, making it worse by making kissing noises at them.

I didnt always want to go for dinner to my In-laws truth be told. There were numerous times I could have done without it, but sitting there Sunday I realised why they put so much emphasis on it. Your friends will come and go but the one constant you have in life is your family. My family dynamic has changed massively over the years and it will continue to change further as my kids grow up. Friends for dinner will be replaced by partners, the laughter of my youngest, that high pitched giggle they all seem to have, will hopefully be replaced by grandkids.

The one thing that I hope to create though is a sense of belonging. That no matter what your week has been like, no matter who youve argued with within the family, that come Sunday there is a place waiting for you at my table for dinner. The same way my In-laws did for me for all those years.

A little naive perhaps but something I will cling onto dearly until my last breath or Im not able to do the dinners anymore. Family to me means everything, and Im proud of mine.

A chersihed memory.

The box had sat sealed under the shelf next to the DVD player since the day I had bought it many years before. I had waited for this moment and now finally that day had come. We had walked down the aisles of toy shops for what had seemed like forever and I was the one who always seemed to stop and stare at the array of toys in this particular section. He never showed the slightest flicker of interest, not once, but now that had changed.

I remember as a boy when I had been exceptionally good my Mum would return home from shopping with a treat for me. I would sit there anxiously waiting to see if she had bought the figure that I had requested, the one toy that would make me smile and rush off into another room, another world. I would carefully take the toy out of the plastic bubble, trying to preserve the cardboard backing as there was always a photo of the character on it from the film.

I would play for hours recreating the scenes that had been ingrained in my head from the most recent visit to the pictures. My kids find this funny when I tell them there wasnt any DVD players back then. To be honest we had only just got a video player!. If you wanted to see the latest films you queued at the cinema and went and watched them on the big screen.

Once again I was 8 years old and walking blinking into the light of the foyer. My head filled with more questions than answers and in a state of high excitement at what Id just seen. He was his father? Really? Wow! Wait until I got to school on Monday and told my friends all about it. As I held my Dads hand and chattered ten to the dozen, the sugar rush from popcorn and coke still rushing around inside of me, I saw it. It was and still is one of my greatest memories of being a child.

In the foyer lining one whole wall was a glass cabinet someone had brilliantly recreated a scene from the film, using exactly the same toys that I had at home. Someone had spent hours getting the detail exactly right, the figures placed in the exact right place as they had been on the screen. I stood there and pressed my face up against the glass, remerging myslef back into that world once again and taking in every detail so as I could try and recreate the exact same thing at home.

I can picture it now as clear as day, the colours off the backing paper used to line the glass, the position of the characters, the smell of popcorn wafting through the air. If I close my eyes and think hard enough I can even remember my Dad smiling and telling me it was time to go and me pleading for just one more moment. I close my eyes and I am eight years old once again. 

As I ripped the cellophane from the DVD boxset my hands trembled slighty. This was a moment I had wanted to happen for years. There are certain things fathers wish to share with their sons, kicking a ball over a park, taking them to a football match or whatever sport they are into. More importsntly though is being able to share with their son a lifetimes enjoyment from something they enjoyed as a child and hoping that they get the same pleasure from it that you did.

I watched him and his brother, my sons, during the film more than the film itself. I didnt need to watch it closely I knew it word for word and could tell exactly what the next scene would be. Their faces didnt move the whole time, they sat there for two hours and didnt blink. Enthralled by it they asked to watch the next one straight away. I smiled knowing that what I had been waiting for all these years didnt disappoint me. It had been worth the wait. Myself and my sons now have something we can share for a lifetime as me and my Dad did before them. 

Like it did for me as a child it all started "In a galaxy a long, long time ago......................................"

Oi Fatty!!

What do you think when you see someone who is overweight? Do you think what a fat git? Do you think glad thats not me? Or do you think I wonder how that happened? If you're honest I bet most of us think what a fat git right? Is that assumption fair though? I read an article yesterday by a journalist on Fleet Street who in my view decided to absolutley destroy someone who is overweight because she needs care. I dont know this persons history or the reason for their weight gain but its important to remeber that I guarantee that this journalist doesn't either. Yet they took the moral high ground and destroyed this person to the readers of their blog. It was bordering on bullying and it really annoyed me, hence this blog.

There are reasons people are obese. Its rammed down thier throats every single day about how gorgeous this product tastes and how they will be cool and happy if they eat it. We bang on about how schools are losing thier fields and how kids dont do enough exercise yet we allow Macdonalds to sponsor kids football in this country. We encourage kids to get their parents to go to certain supermarkets to purchase goods for vouchers, yet these same supermarkest place chocolate in front of the tills and make queing times longer than they should be so as kids will pick up the chocolate. 

We allow Fast Food chains to run promotions that allow kids to eat free there when an adult buys a meal and then reward them with free ice cream and a toy. We allow Cereal compaines to cover our kids breakfasts in chocolate knowing that its marketed as the most important meal of the day. We allow our kids to buy soft drinks full of sugar because they are giving away free music or an ipod on the can. 

Yet we still wonder why we have an obesity problem in this country? Its there in front of your eyes. We are all different, we all have different will powers and weaknesses. We all have different metabolism as well. My brother in law can eat three Big Macs and has never gained an ounce, I look at one and I gain four pounds. Its what makes us all different. There are a few reasons why people are obese in my opinion and they are as follows:

Firstly through bad eating habits and laziness with regards to exercise. These people can only help themsleves and until they choose to do so then there isn't a lot that can be done for them. I put them in the same bracket as Smokers. They know what they are putting into their bodies will kill them and eventually they will die. Its thier choice.

Secondly you have kids who are overwieght, these are fed fatty foods by thier parents and its mainly because their parents know no better that they end up obese. Is it fair to blame the kids? No you blame the parents but you educate them and help them to lose weight and this way they start to see a change in their well being.

Finally you have the less obvious group. These people eat because they have low self esteem, are unhappy or are being bullied in some way. The thing that binds them all together is that they eat because they get comfort from it. 

They get a sugar rush that makes them feel better about themselves for a while, they are trying to change the way they look so perhaps the bully will not pick them out from the crowd. They carry scars inside of them that cant be healed because they wont let someone in to help them heel it, so they carry on eating, getting bigger and bigger.

They eat more and more of the wrong foods, the foods the advertisers tell them to eat to be cool and sexy, telling themselevs that they dont care what they look like but secretly falling deeper and deeper into a depression that only gets worse the more they eat. They see the looks of disgust from people in the street and they feel ashamed but they bury it deeper because they know when they eat that next cake, that next burger, that next chocolate bar the rush they get off of it will make them feel better. Except they dont, not really, becuase that feeling fades away and the pain returns harder and deeper than it did before. 

They become the happy go lucky funny person. Always seeming to be cheerful and laughing and joking yet inside no one seems to care enough to ask them how they feel. They play along with the way their friends see them because its easier that way. Its easier to be the person they have become rather than be the person they want to be.

Next time you see someone who is overweight don't judge them because you don't know them. We all have our issues, some carry them with the help of drink, others with drugs, obese people do it with food. The first group can only help themsleves but wont, the second group need educating. The third group? Well they need your love and support. They may stumble they may fall but THEY WILL thank you in the end you just need to be patient with them.

There are reasons they are overwieght, deep underlying reasons why they have allowed themselves to become what they have and they and only they can change that. You can offer them support and be friendly to them but you must not judge them because it isnt your place to do so.

How do I know so much about the third group of people? Because I was one of them. 

I now have a facebook page called A Teller Of Tales. I'll be adding some exclusive content on their as well so please feel free to like the page, thanks in advance.

Just Older

The wives are in the kitchen chatting away, the kids all 9 of them are somewhere in the house, although we can't see them we can defiantly hear them. The three of us look at each other, smile and make our exit into the warm sunshine that has decided to grace us with it's presence in October. It's seems like us to want to have one last hurrah before the fall of winter.

We sit down on the dark wooded chairs, placing our glasses on the table, for two of us our days of drinking are long behind us, me because I want to, him because he never was able to drink more than a pint without falling over. The other one has never had a problem holding his drink, I remember going too his bedsit once and being very impressed by the pyramid of beer bottles he had managed to build. It stood almost 6 foot tall.

The hair is a little greyer, laughter lines have appeared around the edges of our eyes, our hairstyles haven't changed at all down the years. Mine is still parted on the left, the head is winning the battle of showing through the hair but I don't mind as I've started to show more grey hair now and I tell them it makes me look distinguished. He still has the shaven head from his youth, once he had got over the spiked hair look and realised it was cheaper to shave it himself he kept it. The other one has longish hair again. It's hard too remember a time when he didn't, a ponytail when I got married, it hasn't been anything other than shoulder length since.

We sit and moan about work, our wives and the kids, each showing the other the required amount of sympathy, adding a 'I wouldn't have that' every now and then but knowing far too well that we wouldn't dare say what we are thinking, or agreeing too, to our wives. We know it deep down as well but say it anyway, it's safe here, we can say what we feel knowing that the others won't mention a word to their partners.

We hold each others secrets, discussing them amongst ourselves, we know that none of us would cheat so we don't have to worry about those kind of secrets. We are lucky we all have met 'the one'. The secrets we hold are shared memories from our youth, the things we did and said. We laugh about them now and then, it's hard not too, we did some crazy things. We always were just on the side of legal, the thrill was in how far we could push it, always pulling back just in time. When I first moved into the flat with my wife, they would come around during the hot summer days, we would empty the fridge of all the food and fill it with beer, then spend the day drinking it all until my wife came home and found our weekly shop was inedible due to my lack of care.

We laugh about the girls we loved and left behind, of the fights we had and the friends we made and no longer see. These are memories we cherish and share, we tell others but they don't seem to laugh in the right places like we do, oh they smile politely but that real gut wrenching breath catching laugh only comes from us. We reminisce for hours and yet never feel uncomfortable when a silence falls between us.

We've been friends for 21 years this month and they are the two most important people in my life after my family. One is married to my sister, the other to a girl my wife went to school with. We all seem to fit together like we were meant to be. If ever I need someone to talk too they are there, and me for them. I've never had brothers but these guys are as close as I will ever get.

In our head we are still 18, running around Gants Hill, jumping in cars and eating Stevie's out of a silver carton. The reality is we are nearing 40 quicker than we would like, all married, all with children and wives. Yet we are the same as we were back then, we are just a little older.

The Albums That Hold Memories For Me

A couple of days ago I was asked what was my favourite album of all time. I have so many that I couldn't single one out, I first asked for a top three, then five and finally settled on ten. My music tastes are so far and varied I find it impossible too pigeon hole myself as a fan of one type of music or another. So I shall share by favourite albums of all time and why they mean so much too me.

An Innocent Man- Billy Joel

Simply because it was the first album I ever bought. I can remember watching Upton Town Girl on Top Of The Pops and signing it till I knew all the words. When my birthday came round I went and bought a copy of it and found other gems, An Innocent Man, The Longest Time and of course Tell Her About It. I can remember being 10 years old and signing The Longest Time on the way to school with my mates. It bonded us and took away our inhibitions, didn't care who saw or heard us. This album to me is a very special one, as they say you never forget your first time do you?

Thriller- Michael Jackson

The thumping beat of Billie Jean, the naughtiness (well I was 10) of Pretty Yong Thing, Vincent Price on Thriller, this has to be the most complete album of all time. Every record could have been released as a single and made number 1. If I remember correctly they nearly all were as well. Trying to do the moonwalk, this album started an oppesiosn with Michaal Jackson that would last through the 80's and would only end when all the negative publicity started, it just didn't sound the same anymore, although with his passing I've started listening to him again, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore.

In Pieces- Garth Brooks

Country music to me at the time was all about yeah hah, shagging your cousin, drinking beer with the good old boys, and frankly quite crap. That was until one night I was watching the Des O'Conner show and saw this huge Texan in a cowboy hat sit down at a piano and start playing the Red Stokes. That was it I was hooked and have been ever since. He doesn't record anymore but at one stage he was the biggest selling artist of all time, yes even more than Elvis and Michael Jackson.

It's A Kind Of Magic- Queen

My first Queen album and again bought with birthday money. The cover was animated drawings of the band and I remember watching Highlander and realising that most of the songs from the album were in this film so it immediately became one of my favourite films. I was never lucky enough to see Queen live, at their peak I was too young to go to concerts on my own, but I remember watching Live Aid and seeing this guy totally control the crowd like he was some sort of magician. Everyone was eating out of his hand and he walked around the stage with a crown on his head and a cloak. His my favourite front man of all time, my favourite singer and my number two favourite band behind the next act.

New Jersey- Bon Jovi

My all time favourite band. I was at school when Slippery When Wet came out and they have been there at different stages of my life ever since. They seem to release an album when some major event is happening in my life and I listen to their songs and I'm instantly back there, at that time and place. For example, It's My Life was number 1 when Laura was born, These Days was released whilst I was on honeymoon, Have a Nice Day came out the day I started a new job. New Jersey though means more to me than any other because it was their comeback album, there had been talk of them splitting up, of John

School Wasnt All That Bad I Suppose.

Marc made me think today about his memories of Seven Kings, were they as bad as I remembered them. Don't get me wrong I had a horrible time at school with bullying and stuff but perhaps I had allowed those memories too cloud other memories that were fun. So after I reading Marc's blog I started to think back and do you know what? I remembered some very funny things, well I found them funny, so allow me to indulge in a little reminiscing about some good times I had at school.

Firstly Mr Wilson (I think):  Mad as a box of frogs, he was truly mental. A small bald squat man who was missing half his teeth ho took us for woodwork and metalwork. He hated whistling so what did we do? Yep every chance we got we whistled at him, well behind his back anyway. He would throw anything at you, hammers, chisels, lumps of wood just to shut you up. He used to tell us he had been in the navy, had been a wrestler, was it true? God knows he was nuts anyway. I was gutted when he left........sort of in a kind of way you miss a mad dog I suppose.

The Semi-Final: This was priceless. I was the captain of the school First Year team and we had to play Mayfields in the Semi-Final of a cup game. For some reason this was played during school time, cant remember why, anyway we set of with Mt Puttick driving the mini-bus to their school were the game would take place. We played the game and won. All happy and celebrating when over the school field came about 50 of Mayfields pupils, pissed we had beaten them and ready to do us in. We fancied our chances, well the hard men in the team did, so we wanted to stay, Mr Puttick was having none of it and made us run for the van, which made them chase us even harder. We just made it when the first blows started to rain down. They surrounded the van and with teachers coming from all sides trying to get them away from us Mr Puttick slammed on the accelerator, it was close very close but we made a triumphant return to school.

My Dad: Whys he here? Because he inadvertently caused me a load of grief. He got hood winked a bit and took some of the blame but I got most of it. There was a game being played at the Upper site between us and Canon Palmer the local Catholic School. A bit of rivalry always ensued but nothing to serious. That was until one day I come out of school and see 50-60 lads from Valentines. Not sure whats going on I start to walk home when a few of them start to say hello. I stop and chat and the next thing I know I'm in Mr Steers office being asked why Ive organised this mass fight. Not having a clue what he is talking about I protested my innocence. He believed me and I went home. For those of you that don't know I used to live on Wards Road next to Old Bealonians clubhouse. My garden backed onto the school field. As I arrive home I see the old man chatting to some of the Valentines lot. He knew them as he coached them and me in the team we played in. We used to have the keys to Old Bealonians as it got broke into on a regular basis and there he is bless him opening the gate and about to let them all through the gate. A ran up to him a total look of panic on my face, after all Mr Steer had just asked me had I organised this and there is my Dad ready to let them all in. He saw the look of panic on my face and stopped just in time sending them off with a flea in their ear for wasting his time. That was too close.

The Girls Who Kept Me Sane: Here is a lesson for any young teenage boy. If you want to know anything about sex, girls and what makes them tick. Make friends with some. I did. They were the ones who protected me and stuck up for me when the shit was hitting the fan. From cigarettes down the alleyway before school to lunch over the park, some of the stuff they used to discuss made my hair stand on end. Whilst my boy mates were all bragging about nothing, the girls were sharing every detail. Me? Oh I lapped it up, stored it in the memory bank and used it for a very productive few years after school hitting on older girls and getting away with it. So to you thanks :)

The Gym: For some reason they decided on year that part of our PE lessons needed to be conducted at Redbridge Sports Center. Wasn't to bad I suppose and allowed me a little bit of revenge with the help of a mate. There was this machine that you had to use your legs with. You pressed the pads with your legs and as they went further apart the higher the weights went. Now one day this knob head was giving me a load of grief so I swiped his tracksuit bottoms. Not proud of it but read on. He always used to do gym commando, said he got sweaty, so he wore shorts this week. Knowing this I challenged him to a go on the machine previously mentioned to see who could lift the heaviest weight. I went first in tracksuit bottoms of course. The whole class stood and watched as I didn't do to badly. The ego then went next. All the class standing in front of him and off he goes. As his legs get further apart, little and I mean little, Johnny decides to poke his head out. I had a fair idea this would happen and watched as the whole class cracked up at him. It took him a while to realise what had happened and gave me enormous revenge for all the crap Id taken off of him. I never owned up to taking his tracksuit bottoms ( until now) but he did leave me alone after that.

So there you go I suppose it all wasn't bad, its easier having moved on now to remember the good times rather than the bad. It just takes time I suppose.

Loading Screens And Dreams Part 3

In my third blog of this series I am going to look at handheld gaming. This was all started by a conversation between me and Karl Winship. A simple chat has spawned three blogs so thanks again Karl.

This all started in the 80's as well believe it or not. You could get for the first time a limited amount of games consoles that only played one game and they were in black and white. Nintendo started it off with numerous Mario games. The rarest of these now sell for well over a thousand pound. You can even get some of the non rarer ones to sell for around a £100 if they are in good condition. You payed a few pounds back in the day for them.

Nintendo launched the GameBoy in the early 90's though. It was black and white and the killer game was Tetris. This sold by the absolute bucket load. For the first time you could play games on the move and change them as well. The battery life was good and EVERYONE I knew had one. Well except me. Ill tell you why in a minute. It took the gaming world by storm and sold a million units in the first THREE months. This had never been heard of before, it was truly groundbreaking stuff.

Me? Oh I had a SEGA Game Gear, which I might add I still have to this day. This was in my opinion far superior than the Gameboy. It had a few flaws I wont deny that, but I loved it. You could play Master System type graphics on the move it was a great machine. The only problems were it needed 6 batteries that died after an hour and it was £199 compared to the £69 for the GameBoy. It couldn't compete and after a year Nintendo became the kings of the handheld.

Nintendo then launched the GameBoy Colour, this was nowhere near as good as the Game Gear but price told and it won through. It even had a camera attachment and printer for it as well. Nintendo had the market all to themselves.

They evolved this machine over the coming months and years, First of was the GameBoy Advance. This was a huge leap forward as the graphics got better and more and more developers noticed they could start making a lot of money from the handheld market.

They followed this up with GameBoy SP a massive design change as it was a flip down case. The graphics were getting better as well. It was at this stage that I discovered one of my favourite games of all times. Advance Wars. So very simple but so addictive at the same time. A strategic war game that I still play to this day it was is that addictive.

After a few years Sony decided they wanted a piece of this pie and announced they were going too launch a PSP. I remember the first time I saw one of these. A customer I knew in my Game store imported one from Japan. To say the graphics blew me away would be an understatement. This was PS One graphics on a handheld. It was amazing. I had never seen anything like it. I had to have one so I also imported one from Japan for the grand total of £200. A lot of money for a handheld but I had to have one. The only thing that annoyed me was the complete lack of software. This still exists to this day as well.

Nintendo knowing that they couldn't compete with graphics decided to do something completely different. They introduced the Nintendo DS. What was so special about this? It was a touch screen. This hadn't been done before and it has led to the phones we have today that are touch screen. Believe me when I say this without the Nintendo DS there wouldn't be an IPhone. It was that groundbreaking, The software backed it up and it was a massive seller.

Nintendo may have lost the current console war but the thing that I admire greatly about Nintendo its that they aren't afraid to bring something different to the market. They seemed to have learnt from the battle of the home console and are now selling bucket loads of products by being different. The Nintendo DS, The Wii, another groundbreaking concept.

Who knows what the future of gaming holds, but one thing you can be certain of. With Nintendo still involved in the gaming industry they will continue to develop new and exciting products that appeal to the family. Sony and Microsoft will continue to push the graphic boundaries as far as they can, each trying to out do each other.

 When I look back as I have done with these blogs and my final one about being a GAME store manager ( not to be missed there are some cracking stories in that one believe me ), I'm amazed at how fast the games and graphics and the way we play games has changed. My kids play games now with graphics I could only dream off as a kid. The future is so exciting and the kids that play games now will decide what and how we play over the next decade as their peers did before them.

Its going to be a very exciting decade that's for sure.

Loading Screens And Dreams Part 2

In the first blog I covered the start of the games industry and the birth of the computer game. In the second part in this series I'm going too bring it right up to date. Thanks again too Karl Winship for giving me the inspiration for this blog.

I moved quickly from an Amstrad 6128 computer to an Atari 2600. This was the beginning of the game revolution. You could play the games you saw in the arcade on your telly at home. Space Invaders, Asteroids, Defender, Missile Command, Pac-Man. All the games I put money into in the arcade I could now play at home. The only problem was there was no save or pause button. Once you started playing you either played until you died or until you turned it off. It was that simple. I didn't care I loved it. I played my first ever football game on the Atari as well, Pele Soccer. It was great. You had a triangle of three squares and a square ball you kicked about. When you scored fireworks went off. Genius.

There is a great story attached too Atari as well. The film E.T. came out and they decided too cash in on a game for it. They made over 3 million copies of this game and expected too make a fortune. Unfortunately it was bloody awful and sold like a dog with herpes. It tanked and I'm being kind here. The rumour goes that they were so ashamed of it they recalled all the copies of it, loaded them up into a big truck and drove into the desert and buried them. Can you imagine EA doing that now? Its never been confirmed they did or didn't do this but what a great story.

Anyway around the time of the mid 80's there was a massive crash in the gaming market and it all but destroyed Atari who were the main players at the time. People started too turn away form the games console until a little Japanese card trading company decided to have ago. They had dabbled in the handheld market with a few games but they then decided too launch a console. This was the beginning of what we know today. The name of this company? Nintendo

The NES was the first console to hit Europe and stole the market. It was closely followed by the Master System made by SEGA. The console wars had begun. Nintendo used Mario who had made his debut in the arcades in the game Donkey Kong, SEGA went with a blue hedgehog called Sonic. The two most iconic gaming characters were born. A few years later Nintendo upgraded the hardware too the SNES and then it really started too take off. People qued for hours for this hardware. Unheard of before in this country and it was something that was repeated around the world.

I had a SEGA Master system and was blown away the first time I played Sonic. You have too remember I had never seen anything like it. I was used to playing Pele Soccer with square bricks as people. Here I had a character in beautifully rendered colours whizzing across my screen at a great speed. I played a SNES but wasn't that impressed to be honest, I was hooked on Sonic. There were some great games for the SNES, Mike Tyson's Boxing and Duck Hunt being the none Mario games, but Mario was the king here for the Nintendo fans.

I remember being working in Curry's the day the N64 came out. It was £400 and the games were £60 pound each. A huge amount of money in those days. Do you know what though? We sold out in the first 2 hours. All of them. I was amazed that people would pay this for a games console. The main launch title was Mario64 and this again changed the gaming industry. Me? Oh I had a Mega Drive the newest Sega system and loved it. There was no way I would go over to Nintendo this would be like supporting West Ham as a Daggers fan, you just don't do that.

SEGA tried to up the ante and released the Saturn. Yes being a loyal SEGA fan I bought one. It was rubbish to be honest and was quickly passed by the PlayStation. Here in lies another great story. Sony approached Nintendo and offered to make them a CD player for the N64. Nintendo said yes and all was going well until they fell out. Sony took the technology and made the PlayStation. The rest as they say is history.

SEGA launched a new console, the Dreancast, which to be honest was way ahead of its time as it was able to link to the Internet. The only problem was because of this it was really easy to hack and loads of people started too play copied games on it. After 18 months SEGA admitted defeat and pulled the plug on consoles completely. They decided to concentrate on making games rather than consoles and they still exist today as a gaming company with a very loyal band of followers, Although if you had told me that Mario and Sonic would appear in the same game back in the day Id have laughed my head off. Who would have thought it hey?

 With SEGA gone to the console city in the sky I bit my tongue. I bought a PS One as its now known. I was blown away by the 3D graphics and the huge amount of titles on it. It needed a memory card to save the games onto but I had many a late night/early morning playing games on it. Even when it started to go wrong you could turn it upside down and it would still work. It was superb. Sony cornered the market. No one could compete with them.

Nintendo tried and launched the Game Cube it sold fairly well but Sony were ahead of the game. They launched the PlaystationTwo with a DVD player. This again changed the market. At the time DVD players were £500 to £600 pound. You got a games console AND a DVD player for £399. They absolutely flew out. We couldn't get enough of them. Sony were the true kings of console gaming. They built on the success of the PlayStation by making it able too play PlayStation One games on it. This was a major selling point for the console and again another first.

Microsoft then entered the market with the XBOX and they didn't do too badly to be honest. They managed to push Nintendo into third place because in their eagerness to get too market with the Game Cube they hadn't included a DVD player in their machine whilst the others had. It was a huge machine though and very heavy but didn't need any memory cards as it had a hard drive built inside it. Very impressive. With the launch of the new consoles the positions remain the same. Sony 1st, Microsoft 2nd, Nintendo 3rd.

This blog though cannot finish without a mention of the Wii. They may not be played that much but when it launched it was something different. No wired controllers, you got up and WAVED the controller at the screen. Ill admit I bought one and the kids loved it........for about 6 weeks. Fair play to Nintendo though they reinvented themselves and as long as they keep doing that, and the great games they keep making there will always be a place for them in the market. The PlaystionThree and XBOX 360 may be considered better machines with their higher specs, but both of these companies are about to release motion controllers so Nintendo must have done something right.

The thing too remember though with all of these is that without the Spectrum, Commodore, Amstrad or the Atari there wouldn't be any PlayStation's or XBOX's. These guys just carried on where the others had started. I must admit I don't play that many games now but writing this blog and the first one as well as the last one which covers handheld gaming, it has made me smile at the memories I have from playing these games.

For that I thank every programmer who started in his bedroom, who then inspired the next generation, who will continue to inspire the next generation and so on and so on. Ive had some great gaming memories and I'm sure you have as well. Long live the computer game whatever the next generation may bring.

Loading Screens And Dreams Part 1

This blog came about from a conversation I was having with a friend of mine. Its due to him that I am writing this and he also gave me the title as well. This is the first part so Karl Winship thanks very much for the inspiration.

I remember the first ever computer game I played. It was called Pong. My dad bought it for me and we played it for hours. It was quite simple, a black and white screen, two white bars hitting a square ball back and forth. The only problem was that, that was it. You couldn't put anymore games in it. It came with Pong and Pong was what you got.

I also remember the first time I saw a game cabinet. We went to Thorpe Park, it hadn't been open long and stuck in the corner of the restaurant was a big yellow cabinet. In that cabinet was a game that would change everything for me. That game was PAC-MAN. I put in my 10p and watched as the little yellow head was chased around the screen eating little dots chased by ghosts. So, so simple and so much fun. A new industry had been born.

In the early 80's there were these new fangled things called computers. If you think the fan boyism of the current generation of PlayStation vs Xbox vs Nintendo is bad you don't know anything. The big battle was between Spectrum and Commodore. You had one or the other that was it. I never had one of these computers I had an Amstrad 6128  which came to market a little later than the others and became the home computer. This was THE computer to have as a kid, because it came with a built in disk drive, but unfortunately there wasn't many games for it. As successful as Alan Sugar was at bringing the computer to the masses he couldn't get the biggest software company at the time which was Ocean (remember them?).

There were some cracking games out at that time, Manic Minor, Hungry Horace, The Hobbit, Skool Daze, Jet Set Willy, we would play for hours. The graphics weren't great normally 8-bit and at an absolute push 16-bit. To give you some idea of what that was like, you now get better graphics on the loading screen of your mobile phone. We didn't need graphics though we had game play. That's all that mattered. These games were extremely difficult too complete and great kodus was heaped upon anyone who managed to it.

The other great thing about these early computers was they also spawned another new industry. Computer magazines. There were some great ones at the time ZZapp was one and Amstrad User was another. The great thing about these magazines was they were written by fans for fans. Guys in their bedrooms who wrote the code needed and then gave it away in the magazines. Zzap also started to give games away on the front of their magazines. I spent hours typing out the code that they printed in the magazines to get another free game. The early computers needed tape decks attached to them to load the games on and they weren't cheap so this was a godsend.

There were downsides to this though by any means it want perfect. One of the problems was that you would wait 30 minutes for it too load and it would crash so you would start again. The other was that when you typed in the code if you got ONE thing wrong it wouldn't work. Do you know what though? We didn't care we just started all over again. Doing it again and again until we got it right. We would spend hours doing this and we loved every minute of it.

There computer boom lasted a few years and then it was all to change again with the introduction of a whole new way of gaming which I shall cover in another blog. Its important though to remember that without these first computers there wouldn't be the games we play today. They changed everything, they challenged and intrigued the programmers of the future to write the games we know now. As Walt Disney changed the way films were made, Jet Set Willy and Manic Miner changed the way we played games.

Ill always hold these games and the systems we played them on in high regard even of they haven't stood the test of time. They were a special part of my childhood which I and others like me, will not forget. That is exactly the way a cherished childhood memory should be as well.

The Final One - The Stag Weekend

"Guys there's a tiger in the bathroom" I love that film its one of the best comedies ever. The Hangover is about a Stag do that goes horrifically wrong. Mine wasn't quite as bad but it came close.
Okay Ive reminisced quite a lot lately so I'm going to round it off with a blog about my Stag Weekend. The same crazy nutters Id grown up with and they make up the highlights of this blog. It was decided to do it over the weekend no idea who thought of this but it seemed like a good idea at the time if I'm honest. I didn't want all the stripper lark, not interested to be fair so it was agreed we would do a pub crawl around Ilford then head off to the West End on the Saturday.

It started of quietly, a few pubs a few drinks, then it started to go a bit wrong. I got absolutely bladdered so I'm relying on what happened next from other peoples memories and the wife to be plus the sister. Apparently I disappeared in one of the last pubs we went in. I was found after about an hour, yeah thanks guys you were that worried about me, sitting in the bog sweating and with my trousers round my ankles!. I have no idea how, why or what happened. I was truly mashed so cant remember a thing. Anyway I was duly re-dressed and carried outside of the club. This I also have no recollection of but here goes.

Apparently I was placed against a car where, well you know in those cartoons they slide down things really slowly? Yep I did but into the middle of the road. At this point my future brother-in-law Ian ( yes they was back on again) decided to call my wife to be and ask her if he could come and get the car and drive us home. He was more pissed than I was but better at hiding it. She said no so apparently we got a cab. Nope don't remember a thing. Anyway we got home and I was put to bed where the fun continued. My other brother-in-law Paul said he was going home, nope didn't want a cab and walked out the back door and then fell over and asleep in the garden where he was left. Ian was then having a ciggie in the front room with Nicky and Sarah when he lent forward and well I cant believe he did this, I did laugh when I found out but that didn't help, Sarah all concerned said to Ian "Do you want the ashtray" Ian nods, Sarah leans forward to give it to him and throws up all over her. Priceless, a quiet night in then we turn up.

The next night we met at the George in Gants Hill, yep theres that place again, there was me, Gary, Ian, Paul, Terry ( the father-in-law), Mark, Gary L and a few others. We had a few beers well hair of the dogs and headed up West. We had decided to get something to eat in a place called Break For The Border it ain't there now another victim of the recession unfortunately. We started of with a few buckets of beer and some shots and were slowly getting tanked again.

There was a Hen party in this place with a few ropey women which some of the guys beer goggles kicked in for and of they went. Me and Ian were standing by the dance floor when a fight started, Now this place had one bouncer that was it. It was a crap fight between two blokes, all slaps and handbags when another bloke started. It was then getting out of hand so me and Ian decided to break it up. We were big enough and could handle ourselves so decided to sort it. Id like to say we did but all hell then broke loose. This place was done out like a cowboy bar and it then looked like one of those cowboy films were you have a mass brawl.

The other numptys hadn't seen us try and stop it they thought we started it so joined in. I watched as my Father-In-Law was telling the bouncer to leave it as we would sort it. It was so surreal. I grabbed a bloke and went to hit him then realised it was my brother-in-law, one of our mates who fancied himself a bit ran in and ended up on the floor a quick kick to the nuts sorting that out. We managed to calm it all down and the hen party started to cheer. Gary L thought they were cheering for him as he was copping off with one of the old birds and raised his hands to take the applause, not realising that the whole place had been in chaos, so there he was expecting us all to congratulate him when all we did was laugh at him.

The owner came over and thanked us and said the bill and beer was free for the rest of the night. So we then carried on getting bladdered, along with the blokes we had just been fighting with. Well no hard feeling there then. We then got the night bus home as wed missed the train and went up to the top deck. Terry had heard a song on KISS FM he liked but couldn't remember it so he started singing about my pony, he ain't got the best of voices anyway but this was bad, Ian then sat opposite him nodding his head saying "Ive heard this Tel " and continued repeating the words all over again. This went on all the way home, much to the amusement of everyone else.

It was in the end the final chapter of my time with the Gants Hill Mob. I was the first to marry so I left it all behind. A few of them stayed single for a few more years but it we never kept in touch like we did. We had different priorities. It was like having one last hurrah before we all finally accepted we had to grow up and move on with our lives. But what a way to end it all. Great memories from great friends. I wouldn't change it for anything and I suppose for a lot of it you had to be there.

My First Day At School And Meeting Ken Ashton MBE

Do you remember your first day at school? No not secondary school, I'm talking about Primary school. I do, like it was yesterday. I can remember every thing about it, the first day I went to school was a very strange one and I still rib my mum about it even now.

I went to Newbury Park Primary school. It was between that and Christchurch and I remember my mum bought a seat to go on the back of her bike in case I went there and she would cycle to school. Blimey I have a head full of useless information, well so my wife tells me any way!. The headmaster at this school was a man called Ken Ashton MBE, the football fans out there may recognise the name but for those of you that don't let me explain.

Ken Ashton was the highest referee in the country in the mid-sixties. If you watch the Argentina vs England game from the 1966 World Cup the bloke in the suite trying to sort out the ensuing ruck was Ken Ashton, he was also the man who invented the Red and Yellow card system that is now used the world over. I didn't know any of this when I started school although my Dad was mightily impressed as he knew who he was. This was back in the day when footballers went  and got jobs when they retired. The usual thing, open a pub and such like, but Ken Ashton was a remarkable man and I shall do a blog about him next because his life has fascinated me.He wasn't like today's mob who think its okay to spend money on prostitutes and beat people up. Great examples that they are, Id rather my kid be a politician than a Premier League footballer to be honest. Anyway back to the story.

I was a keen footballer even at this young age and I had a ball with me wherever I went. My Mum knew this as did my Dad. So of we go to meet the headmaster at my first day at school. I'm in shiny grey trousers, a white shirt, red jumper and a grey and silver striped tie. My new shoes hurt a little and I'm nervous. We sit outside on blue plastic chairs in a corridor where there are an array of pictures painted by the kids that went o the school on the walls. The door is a deep purple colour and there are black curtains closed over the glass windows on it and a brass door handle. On the door is the name Headmaster Ken Ashton.

All of a sudden the door opens and standing there is a very smartly dressed man in a dark suit, white shirt and dark blue tie. His hair is greying and is slicked and parted. He smiles at my Mum and offers her his hand to shake, he looks at me and smiles and ruffles my immaculate hair. I like him straight away he has this grandfather look about him. We walk into his office and he sits behind his large desk and I sit next to my Mum. They make small talk about where I live and what the school does and then it happens. He asks me a question.

"Do you like sport young man?" There is a warm tone in his voice as I open my mouth to answer, but before I can my Mum injects in with an absolute gem.
"Yes he does" she smiles
"Football?" he asks, well he is a top referee after all.
"No" she replies "Horse racing" smiling even more sweetly

Hold on a minute back right up there please, what did you say? Horse racing? Where the hell did that come from? I'm not sure who's more shocked me or him to be honest. What the hell do I know about horse racing? I'm four years of age for crying out loud. Yeah thanks for that mother. The silence is finally broken by Ken Ashton.

"Really?" He asks
"Yes" She replies now getting into the swing of it "Red Rum is his favourite"

Huh? Who the hells that? Red who? Nope lost me there mother well Ill let you carry on shall I? Okay then off you go.

He looks at me a little surprised thinking he must have the world's youngest gambler sitting in front of him. Me I'm totally lost here, if this wasn't the most nerve racking day of my life then Mothers just made it 20 times worse. He smiles at me and says okay then its time to go to class. He opens the door and strides down the hallway towards a door on the left hand side, he stops knocks on the door and introduces me to my teacher. She smiles takes me by the hand and leads me into the classroom. I look at my Mum who is now in floods of tears and off I go, the start of my school life.

I had some happy memories there at Newbury Park life was so much simpler then. Ken Ashton retired a few years later. Our paths didn't cross that often but I remember having a photo taken with him and a number of other boys that played in the football teams just before he left. Our paths crossed many years later when I decided to do a referee's course and he was the guest speaker. I approached him afterwards and said I went to Newbury Park and he looked at me and said:

"You weren't the Horse boy was you?" He asked knowingly

I grinned and said "Yes" stunned he remembered. He then said that of all the things parents had said to him that one stuck in his mind because it was so different to what he normally heard. Sadly he passed away a little while later. If you are ever in the area go to Barkingside Wreck, walk amongst the trees around the outskirts of the park and there, against one of the trees, is a little plaque placed there by his family. Ive shown my kids that plaque and also recounted that story to them many times.

I'm writing this blog because my eldest boy Michael starts school next week, a half day at a time, until he settles in. Its so different now than it was back then, when we took the girls we left them at the door and of they went. They did the settling in thing for about 3 weeks, Me? I got left to do a full day the day I started and that was it. It will be no more less traumatic for us as parents, even though this will be the third time we have done this, hopefully he will breeze through it, but its that time when I suddenly realise that he is growing up. He will always be Mikel to me and Ill love him till the day I die, but he wont be my little boy anymore, he will be going to school, he wont be the little boy I dropped of at nursery and then collected.

To him its the start of a new adventure, a time to make new friends and start his journey in life, he will still need me but perhaps not as much, who knows?.It doesn't get any easier I will admit and those of you going through the same thing, I get it, I know what its like, they start to change when they go to school don't they?.

Good luck son, this is the start of making your dreams come true and I hope you have the time of your life. Cherish it because life is so much simpler at school, hopefully you'll make friends for life as well. Whatever happens Ill be there for you whenever you need me.

Love Dad x

The Place To Be In 1990 Gants Hill Part 2

"Summer, Summer, Summertime" that has to be the best summer time record of all time. Take a bow Mr Fresh Prince son that's a cracking tune. Well done fella, possibly one of my favourite tunes of all time. So here we go then Gants Hill Part 2. The final chapter, well sort of Ive decided to do one about my stag do, god that was another mad night as well. Anyway lets get on with it shall we.

Gary bought himself a  moped, light blue it was and he loved it. Apart from the fact all he needed was a Domino's Pizza box on the back, he looked very cool on it. It saved him a fortune in petrol as well. That was until the night he let Wardy have a go. Now Marc's a nice fella, its just he gets himself into situations sometimes that I bet even surprise him. Like the night he had a go of Gary's moped. All was going well, he had been around the roundabout a few times and was bombing up and down the road on it. That was until he took longer than expected to make another trip around the roundabout. The problem? He'd fallen off. Don't worry he was okay, the moped wasn't though. Nothing major he had just bent the handle bars a little, well I say a little, you see Marc had bent them so much that he had to have his hands across his body to the left. whilst the wheel was straight. To say Gary wasn't pleased wouldn't be fair, he went ape. He was trying to hit Wardy whilst he stood there in the motorcycle helmet. I couldn't help it I had to laugh it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. Gary going ape, Wardy apologising whilst wearing a crash helmet utter priceless.

Then we had Ian's ever falling apart beige Fiesta. He wasn't the most careful driver in the world if we are honest, don't worry he drives a massive lorry now delivering beer so he'll be okay. We went to Silverstone for my birthday to watch some racing. I went with John (white vest, RS2000 ) and Mark Thomas, Ian went with Wardy. John being the knob he was left Ian behind drove straight in and parked and forgot to give Ian his ticket to get in. There were no mobiles in those days so Ian had no way of getting hold of us to let us know when he got there, so he had no choice but to go back home again. This was where the problem started. Those of you that know Gallows Corner flyover know it has a little ramp and then kicks over to the right slightly. I'm sure Ian knew this but what the hell he attacked it at 60 miles an hour, took off and landed with a thump upon which his back axle snapped. We knew none of this as we were at Silverstone. When we got back to Gants Hill later that day Ian was a bit pissed off to be honest, not sure whether it was about the car or John, but anyway he offered to give me a lift. Utter madness. The back of the car was swinging all over the place. He drove it like that for a few  weeks as well.

Then there was the night Onions tried to kill me as well. To be fair it wasn't his fault. We were coming past Fairlop Waters doing about 110 in a 1 litre white Fiat Panda when a car pulled out in front of us. Utter panic stations. I screamed, Onions screamed and he slammed on the brakes. How we never hit that car is beyond me, it must still have my finger prints in the dashboard. The best bit was Wardy was in the back with his bird at the time and didn't hear a thing. He asked what all the shouting was about and then carried on as if he didn't have a care in the world. How we never brained him Ill never know.

To top all this off I finish with one more story about Camelot. One night around Halloween we decided to take the girls up to the woods and scare the shit out of them. The plan was that they would be so grateful we saved them that they would be thankful for ages. Yep that was the plan. It didn't quite work out that way though. You see the problem was we were stupid enough to take Wardys mum with us. She insisted on coming and we thought what the hell she was a good laugh it wont hurt. So off we went not knowing that between them had hatched a plan that was going to shit the life out if us. We all pulled into the car park and set off. All bravado and gob, telling the girls ghost stories to scare them and us all laughing about how clever we were. So we start going deeper and deeper into the woods, telling stories about the headless horseman, hey we were young it was the best we could do at short notice, what we didn't know was that Marc and his mum had something a little bit special planned for us. We walked into a clearing in the woods and the moon was shining. The girls were a little jumpy to be honest but we were okay, well that was until a bloke appeared in a mask. We looked at each other expecting one of us to start laughing, after a quick glance we realised that we were all there and this was a proper nutter. We did what all men do, yep we ran away leaving the kills in our wake. We were terrified. What we didn't know was that Wradys mum had arranged for her boyfriend to hide in the woods and jump out at us when we go there. We shit an absolute brick. We were still shaking when they got back to the car park laughing their heads off at us. I still laugh at that to this day as well.

So there you have it. I have had to leave a few crackers out due to legal reasons and the fact we never got caught and don't fancy a tug from the old bill now. We never did anything that harmed over people, we never robbed anyone either. We just sailed a little too close to the wind as all teenagers do. It was part of growing up. I had the time of my life and we discuss these stories and many others when we all get together, which isn't often enough these days.

Happy memories and happy times. I will be forever grateful for those crazy teenage years they were the making of me. Thank you all.

The Place To Be In 1990 Gants Hill Part 1

"Altogether now, altogether now, together" ah The Farm one hit wonders whatever happened to them hey?. Okay after the summer of 1990 blogs and The Nightclub Called Millionaires its only fair that I tie it all up where it all started. Gants Hill. There was so much going on here that to do it in one blog wouldn't do it justice so its going to have to be two. This was THE place to be seen in the summer of 1990. Everyone was there. Forget your Miami's and you Gold Coast anyone that was anyone went here. It was that kind of place.

So what was so special?. Nothing really to be honest it had an Iceland, a Kebab shop, a 7-11 with Fanta Slurpee's and that was about it really. It somehow turned into the meeting place of all meeting places and some of the funniest stupidest stuff I ever did in my whole life. Where do I start? Well straight in I suppose is the best place.

There was a definite pecking order at Gants Hill. If you were somebody you stood outside Iceland, if you weren't you stood outside 7-11 and hoped you would be invited to join the crew outside Iceland. Who decided this? Go on guess. no?, okay then it was us. Yep because most of us drove you could park outside Iceland so that's where we went. There was a range of cars there and we took all the parking spaces. Sodding about and having a laugh. There are two very similar and funny stories that happened about 3 days apart. Are you sitting comfortably? Okay then I shall begin.

Jamie was standing chatting to us when suddenly he keeled over holding his stomach in absolute agony. It shocked us a bit to be honest. We weren't sure if he was sodding about but after a while it became obvious he wasn't so we chucked him in the back of a car and drove to A&E at King Georges Hospital, no not the new one the one that is now a housing estate. When we go there he could hardly walk so we carried him, a leg each an arm each and crashed through the doors shouting our mate was dying. Bedlam broke out as doctors came rushing over and took him away on a trolley. We were concerned obviously, well a little bit as most of us ended up in the car park drinking beer, when we got called back in. Jamie was in a cubicle and were told we could go and see him. He was lying on a bed and looking a little worse for wear obviously in pain. We asked how he was and he said he felt a little better. Then this nurse came in wearing a rubber glove and asked us to leave. A few of us stood outside the cubicle trying to listen in to what was being said when all of a sudden, well I'm not sure quite how to explain this but Ill try, you know when you hear a loud prolonged clap of thunder? Well we got that and then the smell, oh my god the smell, it was like a dozen decomposing bodies with rotten eggs. We realised what had happened and started to crack up, tears of laughter rolling down our faces. Jamie emerged from the cubicle very red faced and told us to do one. We couldn't help it we were in stitches, even the nurse was laughing, the idiot had got trapped wind.

A few nights later we were standing at Gants Hill again assuming the position when Wardy collapsed holding his stomach. We took the piss offering to get him a Twix and shove it up his arse as we were convinced he had the same as Jamie. After about 10 minutes we realised he wasn't joking and took him up the A&E  as well. As we repeated the scenario of Jamie the previous time the doctor looked at us and smiled and said not again. We all laughed and went and sat out side the cubicle waiting for the thunder. Only this time not to be out done Marc had something very wrong. His appendix had twisted itself around his bowel and he needed an operation there and then. We were shocked a bit to be honest we though he was sodding about. Anyway he had the op and a few of us went up to visit him the next day. He had a lovely selection of grapes drinks and sweets. Well we were hungry and he kept falling asleep so we ate them. Yep the lot. What are friends for? The best bit was he got told off by his mum for being a greedy git and we had eaten it all and he hadn't a clue.

The only other redeeming feature of Gants Hill was the cinema,  The Odeon Gants Hill to give it its full name. That's gone as well now, a block of flats stands in its way. This was the scene of a few crazy stunts. One night Wardy and Matty paid to go onto the cinema. They went up, bough their popcorn and then took their seats in the cinema. When the lights went out they then made their way to the fire exit and let the rest of us in. Not many about 15 or so. There was no alarm in those days so it didn't go off. We then took our seats at the back and started to hand round the Cuban cigars that one of us had bought with him for his dad's supply. We lit them up, don't worry you could smoke in the pictures in those days, and proceeded to puff away. The only problem was because there was so many of us you couldn't see a bloody thing, the whole place filled up with smoke. There we were puffing away enjoying ourselves, and I couldn't tell you what we watched because we couldn't see a thing. Happy days.

The cinema was also the first date me and the wife to be had. She arranged it and asked to see Ghost. A slight problem I had already seen it twice with other girls before this. I didn't say a word though because I quite liked her to be honest. The first time I saw her she was wearing jeans, a Miami Vice style jacket and had big permed hair. She took my breath away, she thought I was dick so nothings changed in the proceeding 20 years then. Anyway she said she was taking her mate so I asked Gary who was between girlfriends, well I say between he was having a day off so he came with us. Now he had seen it as well so we decided to hatch a cunning plan. For those of you that have seen the film you know the story right? Good because I ain't going through it here. So when the bit comes where he gets stabbed and runs off, me and Gary stood up and went "Well this is crap ain't it? He ain't even dead, I'm not having this I want my money back" and walked out. Yep we left them there. It was a risk a risk Ill agree but when we went back a few minutes later arms full of popcorn and such like they burst out laughing and we got away with it.

So that brings part 1 to a close. Part 2 will follow over the following days with:- Motorcycle Hell, The Wrong Boot, The Romance Of The Summer, and finally Ian I Think You've Broken Your Back Axle.

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing it. Take care until the next time.

A Nightclub Called Millionaires

"Ice, Ice, Baby" Vanilla son you were a white rapper from a posh school, Eminem you weren't but you get a mention because you were the wife's favorite song at Millionaires. Personally couldn't stand ya, always preferred MC Hammer, what trousers, or even at a push Bobby Brown, shame the drugs done him in, but hey shes moaning shes known as wife to be full stop or Sarah full stop so to stop the moaning there you go love Ive mentioned your favourite song. Love Hubby now let me get on with the story.

Ive written about my summer of 1990 and was asked by friends to do one about Millionaires so here it is. Its been a lot of fun remembering all the crazy stuff we got up to down the years. It seems like yesterday, but really it was 20 years ago. My nightclubbing career started with the Ilford Palais when I was about  16. It was okay but it was an old building and was full of people I didn't know and to be fair was a little intimidating as well. I went there a few times and also went to Faces, Epping Country Club and the Flamenco but none of them hold as many special memories as Millionaires.

It wasn't called that when I first went there it was called Valentines. It wasn't the biggest club in the world but it was cheap to get in and the beer was cheap as well. It got even cheaper after a while but more of that later. There was a group of us that went a mix of girls and boys, 20-30 most weekends depending on the time of the month. We got to know the bouncers well enough and after a while we made their job very easy. I bet they couldn't believe their luck. Why I hear you ask? Well we ran the place if I'm honest.

If there was any trouble we used to sort it out, we started it mostly but we also finished it as well. We could handle ourselves and as there was so many of us no one took any liberties. It had a dress code for everyone else apart from us, we could wear what ever we wanted, jeans, trainers, football shirts it was unreal Ive never been treated like that before.

Our reputation proceeded us and if I'm honest we loved it. We never looked for trouble it just seemed to find us. Well there was 15 blokes all full of energy and gob, in their prime and mob handed. I must say now though that we did fight fair we weren't dirty fighters and anyone of our group that did fight dirty normally got it off of us when it ended. We never used tools didn't believe in them, we never hit or kicked a person when they went down either. There was one bloke who was annoying me one night, he was trying it on with the girl I was with at the time, I warned him off he didn't listen so I hit him. Down he went, he then got back up and I put him down again, this went on for about 5 minutes until even his mates were telling him to stay down. Drink does strange things to people.

I left the club at closing time one night and walked outside to find Gary and Ian holding this bloke up against a shutter threatening to beat the living out of him. I sauntered over as you did back in the day, and asked what was going on. They said they were going to give him a beating and I started to walk away, apparently he had taken a liberty and needed sorting, no problem my end, they could both handle themselves and it wasn't my grief, as I walked away I heard him say he knew me, I walked over and would you believe it, it was a bloke I went to primary school with, hadn't seen him in years, so I did what anyone would do in that situation I started hugging him and saying hi, to the utter amazement of Gary and Ian. Their faces were a picture, theres them all het up waiting for a scrap and there me treating this bloke like a long lost brother. Brilliant.

I wont name this person because I'm not sure who it was (well I do but I cant remember who they was seeing at the time so its safer not to name names) but it was defiantly one of our lot. I went in the men's one night and there was a group of blokes hanging about inside looking all menacing. Aye, aye I thought whats going on here then?. I pretended to have a jimmy, listening to the conversation that was going on. Apparently one of their girlfriends had disappeared and they couldn't find her. They knew she hadn't left the club as they'd asked the bouncers if they had seen her. I began to realise what was going on. One of our lot had disappeared with her, but the brains that they were they hadn't snuck her off downstairs to the quiet area. Oh no that would have been too easy. No they were having a little bit of fun loudly in the bloody toilet. This was going to be tricky. So I did what all good mates do in a situation like that, I chinned one of them, I couldn't honestly think of any other way. I got grabbed by the others but being a clever fella I managed to work my way to the door and bundle them out of the toilet hoping the noise would disturb the numpty who was with one of their girlfriends in the cubicle and let them sneak her out. It worked as well. The bouncers saw what was going on thought I was in trouble and threw them out. Like I say I never saw who it was but you owe me one and so I may call it in one day.

There was also the time I was a little worse for wear and came out the club with Jamie. This was in the turtle power days. We were so drunk we found the nearest drain and on our hands and knees we started to call the turtles from the drain. We thought we were hilarious we were having a great time. This though caused a huge annoyance of the wife to be but much to the amusement of everyone else. One Christmas we went down the club and one of our mates had bought a huge black bag in with him. We asked him what was in it and he said a load of Christmas hats he'd got cheap that day. You know the ones red Santa hats with luminous sticks attached to the end. We then spent the night selling them at a rather inflated price and everyone in the club bought one. The whole place looked like a bloody Santa convention when we had finished. The funniest thing was the owner was doing his nut as he hadn't thought of it. We were to quick for you pal.

Then there was the occasion the wife to be lent Wardys sister her ID to get in the club. She had been going for months and never got asked for it. However on this night she did, but she had already given it to Wardys sister and couldn't get in. To say she was polite about it wouldn't be fair. She went ape. I have to say it was one of the funniest things Ive ever seen. Theres this 5ft 2in pocket rocket all done up and looking pretty balling this 6ft 6in built like an out house bouncer out. He didn't know what to say and I think he was a little glad when he saw us and knew she was with us. I was convinced she was going to take him on any minute and I'm sure he was as well.  All permed up and letting rip at the bouncer it took her ages too calm down and I didn't help because I kept laughing. Which to be fair annoyed her even more. She saw the funny side in the end, but it took her a year or so ( no I'm joking it took her 5 years, okay Ill stop now if she reads this Ill be round me mums with the begging bowl, oh wait forgot mum's in Scotland for 10 days, wheres the delete button, oh no its just broke on the PC, oh well Ill have to hide this from her but just in case can I say you are the most wonderful women Ive ever met and I love you loads xxx.............there that should do it)

A little crew from the Broadmead estate started to appear after a while, all grey suites and gobby. They tried to make friends with us at one stage and to be honest I never saw them as a threat. I knew they wanted to take our place but they didn't have the numbers and once again our reputation proceeded us so they didn't try anything. Until John (white vest, RS2000) decided he didn't like one of them. That was fine with me but the problem with John was he'd start the row and then leave me or Mark Thomas to finish it off. He did this so many times down the years it became a  running joke. John was a nice enough bloke to be fair he was generous with his time and would take you anywhere you wanted to go but he had this bloody awful knack of pissing people off. Which was okay but he never dealt with his own problems he used to leave it to us. We left the club and John did his usual packed the car with all the women and drove off thinking he was doing us a favour. We looked down the road and saw them standing there waiting for us. Running wasn't an option to be fair and I knew they were tooled up so we started to help ourselves to the convenient golf clubs that Ian kept in the car.

It was turning into a bit of a stand off, more mouth than action when one of their lot started to swing a lump of wood around his head. It was going rather well until it snapped and hit him on the head nearly knocking him out. That started me and Gary of into fits of giggles, it got worse as well when one of our lot decided to charge at them with a golf club, on hearing this Ian decided to swap it for one of his less expensive ones, well he didn't want to ruin a perfectly good golf club and I cant say I blame him, as he ran down the road he swung it over his shoulder and went straight up in the air and landed on his back. Well that was it we were know leaning on the car tears rolling down our faces with laughter. A very bad situation avoided and we never saw them again after that.

We gradually out grew the club and the group started to split up. Its difficult trying to keep that many people happy and in the end in fighting and people pairing off meant it gradually came to an end. Others tried to have what we had there but it was never repeated. How could it be we were one offs in the right place at the right time. Crazy days but wouldn't change them for anything.

 Ill raise a glass to Millionaires and the memories it gave me and the fun it gave me as well. To Millionaires and to friendship. Happy memories all.

The Best Summer Of My Life 1990 Part 2

“It was an itsy’s witsy teeny weenie polka dot bikini” Another disaster song from my summer of fun in 1990. I swear if I ever see Timmy Mallet Ill batter his smug face with that rubber mallet of his. Anyway last time I promised Id share more with you so firstly lets start with Squirrel Gate.

The Camelot had become the latest place to go as it offered open fields, trees and to be honest it was dark and you could get up to all sorts in the bushes, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. So there I was with the lady of choice at the time, having fun in the moonlight, when an acorn bounces of off my head. I ignore it and carry on until one bounces of off her head, she looks surprised, well she had just been hit by an acorn after all, and said it was my mates watching in the bushes. Now being the quick thinker I am I replies, “Don’t be silly its two squirrels having a fight”. Told you I was good didn’t I. To which, and I swear this is true, she said “Okay then” and we carried on. I never picked them for their brains that was a waste of a good looking girl.

This would have been okay apart from the fact that Wardy, Onions and Ian were the ones throwing the acorns. The numptys had climbed up the trees and were having a great time until Wardy fell out of the tree with a loud thud. This killed the mood massively and I have this overriding memory of chasing him through the trees with my trousers around my ankles. Not a pretty sight and I never caught him either.

The next major incident that I can tell you about that wont get me arrested was going to see Arachnophobia. For those of you that don’t know this was a film about giant spiders killing people in a small town in America (where else huh?). There was about twenty of us going and outside Wardys a little nervous as he doesn’t like spiders. So being a good friend I tell him to stop being a girl it’s a 12 certificate and get in there now or Ill slap him with my hotdog. I wouldn’t have really I was hungry and Id just bought it. The film starts and there are a few oohs and aaahs and the wife to be is getting a little nervous. Me I’m bricking it. How the hell that got a 12 certificate is beyond me. It was terrifying. There were spiders everywhere, I haven’t jumped so much in years. I’m then told by the wife to be to stop acting like a girl and look at Wardy as he hasn’t jumped once. I look along the row slightly impressed at my mates courage and soon realise why he hasn’t moved. He’s got his coat over his head and he hasn’t seen a thing!. Then something lands on me and I jump like an Olympic high jumper. It’s a spider on my lap. That’s it I yell I’m off so I left them to watch it, well everyone except Wardy who is still under the coat. It turns out that some of the cinema staff got bored went and bought a load of plastic spiders and started chucking them in the audience. Utter genius and I was gutted I never thought of it.

I turned 18 as that summer came to a close and to celebrate we all went on a bender to a club in Romford. I’m editing this a bit as to be fair we could get arrested for some of it so add your own bits as we go. John Parry, the white vest man remember him from before, well he starts of off on JD and coke. Which is cool except he doesn’t drink so after a few he falls backwards of his chair and through the ladies toilet door. They scream and we left him. He hasn’t got a clue as he’s plastered and at this point comatose, laying there flat on his back half way in and out of the door to the lavie. After more friendly japes we leave said club and get the bus home. This is where the problems started. Gary is a funny git and when he gets started you cant stop him. So on the way home my delightful sister has decided to dump Ian ( cant remember whether it was the 5th or 6th time but anyway it doesn’t matter they are now very happily married, or so they tell me) so on the bus Ian’s got the hump, Gary wants to play. For the next 30 minutes Ian keeps asking Gary to pick a window as he is leaving by it, Gary replies picking a different one each time. I’m struggling to breath through laughing, Ian’s get more of the hump and Gary has the giggles of his life.

We then realise John has passed out on the bus again, so its decided that when we get to Gants Hill we will run of off the bus and leave Ian and John on it thus solving the problem. This was made funnier by the fact both of them were bladdered and neither knew where the other lived. So how clever we were? Money cant buy you that education can it?. So we do that and all laugh at how clever we’ve been resolving a situation. Everyone goes home and me and Gary then go to Salami’s for a kebab. Happily munching it until, Ian arrives ready to kill Gary. I shit a brick. He was walking like Robocop staring at Gary saying he was going to kill him. He meant it as well. Gary still having the fit of giggles then decides to keep pinching Ian’s nipples (what is it with this bloke nipple thing Ill have to ask him). Ian’s getting more the arse so I decide to take him back to mine. We spend 2 hours walking what should have been a half hour journey due to the fact we are both plastered. We get back to mine and Ian says he’s going home. I wont say how but lets say he didn’t walk. Oh shush up at the back I aint condoning it but this was different times and we were young and reckless as all teenagers are supposed to be.

There were so many more stories to tell but in the interests of keeping this shorter than War and Peace and to protect peoples integrity, not that they had any in the first place, Ill end it there. Suffice to say it was probably the best summer of my life. We all thought we were invincible, that no one could touch us, a few tried then regretted it, the music, the weather, the football, the girls, it just all came together at one moment. It all gelled perfectly for a few crazy months in 1990.

The twelve in Jamie’s cavalier with me and Wardy in the boot, the drunken nights on snakebite at Rollerbowl (now City Limits), the abuse we gave Stevie in the Chinese, the trips to Southend, Gary falling over in Jamie’s van, the turtle power madness. It was a time Ill never forget.

As I get older these memories mean more to me as my responsibilities as a father and husband restrict me more from the madness Id love to get up to. Who knows when I’m a bit older and the kids are older, we may one day do a road trip, just the four of us that are still left, they are like brothers to me, Ill never change that or want to. Well pack up a car and head of around Europe trying all the stupid things we want to do before time catches up with us permanently.

To those mentioned in these blogs and those that weren’t. These two blogs are for all of you. You know who you were that summer and thank you for the absolute time of my life, Ill never forget it or you.

The Best Summer Of My Life 1990 Part 1.

“I got my first real six string, played it at the five and dine” Mr Adams Ill forgive you that bloody awful song that made my summer of 90 the longest ever because you wrote that great record. Now then this will be a two part blog because to be honest otherwise it would be too long. So the greatest summer of my life so far, the funniest, craziest, 4 months I’ve ever had. The summer of 1990.

It all started when we were good at football. England were playing in Italia 90 and after a slow start were progressing towards the semi-finals. I started to learn about culture, well Pavarotti anyway still get goose bumps when I hear that song that bloke could bang out a tune couldn’t he?. I had just completed my first year as an Electrical apprentice ( a blog on its own believe me) I was in my longest relationship at the time ( a year and getting bored, she was older and wanted to settle down, was considering it to be fair, but then it all kicked off and I discovered fun again).

It all started one night when I was standing outside the 7-11 in Gants Hill with a few mates, when this yellow cavalier pulled up. Three blokes got out, what’s going on here I though to myself, one of them came over and introduced himself as Jamie whilst the other two were chasing each other round the parked cars pinching each others nipples, hey it was the 90’s what did you expect?.

We got chatting and thus started my crazy summer with 3 friends who became life long friends ( well to be honest I couldn’t get rid of them one of them, married my sister, and the other one just hangs about all the time, and as for the other one well he knows to many secrets so he has to stay around………..I love you really guys you know that). Anyway we started to hang about and thinking we were cool driving around the Romford one way system annoying the Old Bill. Ian in his beige Fiesta, Matty in his bronze Mark 1 Escort with the Jan speed box on the back ( imagine a really loud airplane and you’ll get the idea) John Parry in his white vest top and white RS200 thinking he was gods gift, Wardy playing jokes on everyone, and me the sensible one. Well I say sensible but compared to these nutters I was, well a little bit, oh alright then I was just as bad as them.

MCHammer was the tune of choice, You Cant Touch This, (I asked for a pair of those trousers so many times as well never got them), still sounds great today if I’m honest, then came the Beach Boy revival and we came up with a stunning plan. Matty had a roof rack on his car as he was a window cleaner, so the brains behind this operation being myself, Gary, Wardy and Ian decided to tie our feet to said roof rack and pretend we were surfing whilst Matty drove round the roundabout. How we never killed ourselves Ill never know. Then Gary decided to take it a stage further and started to hang onto his windscreen wipers as Matty went faster and faster around the roundabout until he fell off. Looking back now I’m surprised we never killed ourselves. We never even got a scratch.

Ian started seeing my sister and decided in his wisdom to teach her drive, brave man, even the old man wouldn’t take her out in a car, by now we had graduated from Gants Hill to the Camelot, no not King Arthurs, a car park opposite a Beefeater Inn at the back of Hainault Forest. Onions ( don’t know where he got that nickname from I don’t remember him smelling of them) had a white 1 litre Fiat Panda, see we had all the top cars of the day money was no object back then. Onions, Matty and Wardy decided to go and get some fags and beer and whilst they were gone Ian decided to treat Nicky to a driving lesson.

Ian was parked next to Onions Panda as they had gone in Mattys car. Nicky was in the driving seat and Ian was leaning in with the door open telling her what to do. I can see what happened next still so clearly even 20 years later. The car jerked backwards and Ian and the door got dragged along the side of Onions car wrecking it. We stood there in silence for a few minutes, then to relieve the mood I started laughing which started Gary off. The mood was broken by Nicky’s shrill tone of ‘That’s your fault’ to which Ian replied ‘Sorry’. Unbelievable she had nearly killed him, wrecked his car and Onions and he apologised to her!. Women never forget the power you have over a man who wants to get in your knickers. Men think with nothing else but the bit that hangs down between their legs, some of us more blessed than others though I might add, and guys I feel sorry for you. All of a sudden we could hear the Mark 1 Escort coming back, to be honest it was so loud you could have heard it in Southend, and we made the collective decision to leg it into the woods.

We waited for the car to pull up and then heard Onions shouting at the top of his voice at how his car had been wrecked. We strolled out of the woods as if nothing had happened, a look of shock and surprise on our faces as we surveyed the damage. We forgot one slight issue though. Ian couldn’t get his drivers door open, it had been wrecked in the crash so we had managed to slam it shut but we couldn’t open it without letting Onions know what happened.

Then like a light bulb going off above my head I pulled Ian to one side and told him to climb through the passenger window and pretend someone had glued his locks together. He looked surprised but I told him it would work. You know what it did as well, well I didn’t say Onions was the brightest button in the box did I?

We still laugh about that now when we get together, me, Nicky, Ian, Wardy and Gary. That was only the start of that summer though, we had squirrel gate, arachnophobia, roller bowl, the ghost, bus gate ( that was funny I’m laughing now writing this). It was an amazing summer. Ill share some others when I do part 2 later.

Memories are what you make them, good or bad, you can cherish them or learn from them. You can make friends that last forever. Its up you how much you decide to take from life. Me , I learnt a few things that summer, one of them don’t get in car with Nicky, I swapped that for my wife’s driving, there’s another blog there I wouldn’t say she was a bad driver but the crash helmet helped for the first few years. I made friends that will be there for me whatever the time of day or night and me for them. I also made memories that will stay with me forever. The summer of 90 will never be repeated.