Wednesday, 26 April 2017


I never had a pet as a kid, I had too many allergies, so I swore when I got older I would, if I got the chance have a dog. Honey came into our family on the 11th June 2012, my eldest daughters birthday, we all instantly fell in love with her she was that kind of dog.

Before I had a pet I couldn't understand how upset people got when the animal passed. They don't live as long as us, you know that when you get them, so why so upset when they pass? Well now I know why and its devastating.

Honey was a lively dog to say the least, she would do exactly what she wanted and sod what you thought, if you threw a ball for her to chase she would look at you, look at where the ball had landed, look back at you and not move an inch. If you told her not to get on the settee she would get up climb behind you and wrap herself around your neck and shoulders because she could. If you told her off she would wait till you were asleep and then take a dump in the house, waiting for you to find it, it was her way of getting back at you. It was like having another teenager in the house, all the ignoring and sulking, added with the laughs and love that came with it. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

The amount of times she would run out the house so you would have to chase her, it was all a game to her. She loved my kids and they loved her, she would lay on her back when they came in so as they would make a fuss of her and she never tired to hurt them. You could call her name for ages and she would ignore you, yet open the fridge and there she was, sitting down waiting for scraps.

Numerous times I've sat at the table and she has then pulled a chair out, got on it and sat opposite me watching me eat. If I ignored her she would come and sit on my chest blocking my view of the telly so as I would have to pay attention to her. Yet I wont do any of that anymore because she's gone.

I remember the last time I saw her well, I stroked her and told her I loved her and she licked my face as my daughters took her for a walk. She was struck by a car on her walk, it wasn't any ones fault, but unfortunately she didn't make it. I knew taking her to the Vets that night that she we were going to lose her, I prayed she would make it, I would have given anything for her to still be here, but I could hear and see the pain she was in. I kissed her again and I hope she knew I was there as I told her I loved her.

Coming home yesterday was awful, as I opened the front door I knew she wasn't there but I hoped she was, shaking her back the way she always did when she got excited to see you, Id come in and kneel down and make a fuss of her, shed lick my face, and then wed sit on the settee together. I sat and cried for 10 minutes solid, I looked at her basket, her toys and knew shed never used them again.

I know deep in my heart we did the right thing, we would have remortgaged our house for her to have a life but the Vet said she wouldn't have nay quality of life and be in pain. I didn't want that for my girl. Ill miss her more than anything, Ill never get over coming home and her not being here, or going into the kitchen and her not being by the back door waiting to go out. Walking through the woods wont be the same anymore.

One day soon we may get another dog, I think we will have to, to fully move on. If she had, had her full life I wouldn't even be considering it, but because of the way she passed, I don't feel complete, I feel cheated. We were supposed to grow old together Honey and you are not here to do that anymore.

I loved Honey with all my heart, as we all did, she was part of my family and I would have done anything to protect her and make her safe, as she would have done for me. The tears still flow, and will for a while yet, the pain will fade with time and another dog my take her place but they wont be Honey. There will never be another dog like her.

As I write this I'm picturing her sitting beside me wandering what I'm doing, as she usually did when it was just the two of us, waiting for a treat, waiting for a walk or just waiting for a kiss on her snout and me telling her I loved her.

I shall miss her for as long as I live, she was my one in a million and she was my very special girl. I hope she's happy where she is now, chasing cats and doing exactly what she wants. We as a family would like to thank everyone for their kind words, it has been read and means the world to us all.

Honey, I love you girl I hope you knew that.

Sunday, 26 March 2017

Happy Birthday Nicky!

First of all lets get this out of the way, you were an absolute pain in the arse as a kid! Demanding, annoying, terrible dress sense and you were a Bros fan! Seriously what on earth did I do to deserve you as a sister?

Things didn't get much better as you started to grow up, we went as Adam and Eve one year at a holiday camp fancy dress for kids, this was the 70's people chill out, all the cousins dressed up, you had the apple and you ate it on the way there! So there we were me looking like Tarzan and you standing next to me munching on the apple you were given. We never won although we got a lot of oohhhs and aaahhhs.

On another occasion we were sitting there eating dinner, all happy and excited for the evenings entertainment, when you fell asleep in your dinner. Literally head first into your dinner. That was the end of that night.

So you have a habit of causing me grief don't you? Can you see a pattern emerging here? Well thank god you grew out of it. You have become a wonderful mother to your kids, you don't have it easy with all that has happened but you've hung in there. You have Dads strength and stubbornness, I inherited the emotion and soft side, we kind of balance each other out.

We don't always see eye to eye and we do still argue. We are both very opinionated and both know how to wind each other up, but it isn't done with any malice, you still cant get over the fact I'm the Golden child, hey what can I say some of us are born with it, some aren't.

As sisters go you aren't too bad Nicky, we will continue to clash till our dying day, but what wont change is my pride in the woman and mother you have become, the way that no matter what life throws at you, you just get on with it, bottle of vodka in one hand and a bottle of sparkling wine in the other, surround by some really good friends who have helped you get to where you are now.

So as you get older on yet another birthday just take a minute to look back to what you've faced and realise you have survived 100% of your worst days and whatever comes next wont be as bad. From the kids who love their Auntie Nicky, from the Sister in Law who loves you like a sister and from me a proud older brother who doesn't always tell or show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you and bloody proud of you I am.

Happy Birthday Sis xxx