Whenever I hear a new IPhone is being released I have mixed emotions. These emotions are of intrigue to see what they are going to do next, but mostly as the years have passed, guilt. Guilt because of a decison I made in October 2007.
I worked for a well known telecoms company, my career had really started to take off and I was going places. For the first time in my life I had a goal that I wanted to achieve, a goal that people were telling me I would achieve. Everything at work was going great and then I made THAT decison.
We were sat in the consultants room at the end of October, my wife heavily pregnant with out fourth child, as we sat looking at a calander and the date when they would perform the Caesarian for the arrival of our son. The doctor lent forward and said " Okay how does the 9th November sound?".
I sat there and said nothing, my blood had just run cold, the moment that my son would be born, my own flesh and blood and all I could think of was "No bloody way, the IPhone is released that day". I didn't say a word I sat there stock still. What could I say? "yeah em unfortunatley doc that date isn't good for me, you see I need to be at work that day". I couldn't do it, my wife would kill me.
Except she didn't she looked at me and said "well he won't be there that day" the doctor, shocked by this didn't know what to say. "The IPhone is out that day so he can't make it" I smiled sheepishly, what else could I do, if at that moment in time the earth could have swallowed me up then I would have gladly dived in.
"Okay then" the doctor a little shocked by this said " Okay we'll how about the week after?, the 16th?"
I nodded yes meekly.
"That is unless Nokia have a new phone out I suppose?" He smiled as he said it but it didn't help stop my guilt.
When work found out the reaction was a mixture of suprise and acknowledgement at the commitment I'd shown. I was mentioned on company wife conference calls, people emailed me joking at what I'd done, to be honest I was embarrassed. I promised myself that from that day forth I would never do that again.
Five years later I don't work for that company anymore, I'm still married to my wonderful wife and our son Reece started school today. He looked so grown up going to school and yet I still had tears in my eyes when I said goodbye to him, the way I did with all the kids when they started school. He was too interested in what was going on around him to notice his Dad, I caught the eye of another father there and I could see the same thoughts and tears in his eyes. We nodded to each other and quickly looked away. My pang of guilt at how I had delayed brining this beautiful little boy into the world for a phone rose in my throat and I had to leave the room.
Now as Im about to move to a smaller store, I realise I finally have my priorities right. My wife and kids come first. Im working to live not living to work. I'll still carry the guilt that never goes, but I know one day he will know the story and perhaps he will laugh at what I did. Most of all though I'll make sure he doesnt make the decision I did. No job is more important than family or friends, the people you love and who love you..
I hope you enjoyed your first day son, love you forever Dad x
Showing posts with label Honesty and Respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Honesty and Respect. Show all posts
Thursday, 13 September 2012
Thursday, 23 February 2012
Sunday Dinner
Theres a tradition in my family that started when I met my wife. Its nothing fancy or difficult but just something that has happened every Sunday for years. My In-laws and myself along with my wife and her brother would have Sunday dinner togther. Over the years my Brother-in-law would bring his girlfriends to this meal and eventually his wife. Other parts of the family would pop by every now and then but at the root of it all was us.
During the summer months we would progress to a BBQ outside and sit in the sun drinking cold beers enjoying each others company. With time my kids appeared and we would watch them run around the garden. During the winter it was roast potatos and meat huddled in the front room telling stories about how our weeks had been, the good and the bad. It was something too look forward to.
If anyone wanted us they knew where to find us, an open door policy operated, if you wanted to come you could and if there wasnt enough chairs then you ate it on your lap on the settee. I dont know how she did it but she always made sure that there was enough. My mother in law was brilliant at it.
This has carried on now into my new home. It wasnt something I intended to do if Im honest but after cooking everyone Christmas dinner two months ago, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would, I guess its my turn now to carry it on for years to come. Every Sunday since then its been all round mine. I start cooking the meat then its all over to the fields to work up an appetite which allows me to share precious moments with my kids and also allows me to hopefully make memories for them as well.
This weekend the world and his wifes cousin decided to descend on my humble abode. My daughter invited two of her friends, without telling me, my sister arrived with my nephews and their mate as well. They are good kids, polite, pleasant and fun to be around. There was a dynamic change this weekend though, as I sat in my chair at the top of the table I watched them as they tried to be comfortable around each other. The boys awkward and embarrassed, the girls all giggly and nervous as it was clear that there was perhaps the first flutterings of feelings coming through.
I was never a great one with the girls as a kid, I could make friends with them easily no problem at all but I would have needed to be hit in the face with a shovel to pick up on any 'signals' and I guess I missed a few oppoutunitys with it. I did okay as I got older, although Im convinced that had more to do with dutch courage than any sudden change in my social skills.
I watched the looks the girls gave each other, a look only the female of the species would undertsand that 'I like him' that my duaghter is so good at picking up on. I watched as my nephew not quite old enough to understand what was going on (his mother hopes anyway, as my daughter is a few years older as are her mates) but embarrassed all the same. His friend turning red everytime one of them laughed or said something to him and us, the grown ups, well that would exclude my brother in law and I, making it worse by making kissing noises at them.
I didnt always want to go for dinner to my In-laws truth be told. There were numerous times I could have done without it, but sitting there Sunday I realised why they put so much emphasis on it. Your friends will come and go but the one constant you have in life is your family. My family dynamic has changed massively over the years and it will continue to change further as my kids grow up. Friends for dinner will be replaced by partners, the laughter of my youngest, that high pitched giggle they all seem to have, will hopefully be replaced by grandkids.
The one thing that I hope to create though is a sense of belonging. That no matter what your week has been like, no matter who youve argued with within the family, that come Sunday there is a place waiting for you at my table for dinner. The same way my In-laws did for me for all those years.
A little naive perhaps but something I will cling onto dearly until my last breath or Im not able to do the dinners anymore. Family to me means everything, and Im proud of mine.
During the summer months we would progress to a BBQ outside and sit in the sun drinking cold beers enjoying each others company. With time my kids appeared and we would watch them run around the garden. During the winter it was roast potatos and meat huddled in the front room telling stories about how our weeks had been, the good and the bad. It was something too look forward to.
If anyone wanted us they knew where to find us, an open door policy operated, if you wanted to come you could and if there wasnt enough chairs then you ate it on your lap on the settee. I dont know how she did it but she always made sure that there was enough. My mother in law was brilliant at it.
This has carried on now into my new home. It wasnt something I intended to do if Im honest but after cooking everyone Christmas dinner two months ago, which I enjoyed more than I thought I would, I guess its my turn now to carry it on for years to come. Every Sunday since then its been all round mine. I start cooking the meat then its all over to the fields to work up an appetite which allows me to share precious moments with my kids and also allows me to hopefully make memories for them as well.
This weekend the world and his wifes cousin decided to descend on my humble abode. My daughter invited two of her friends, without telling me, my sister arrived with my nephews and their mate as well. They are good kids, polite, pleasant and fun to be around. There was a dynamic change this weekend though, as I sat in my chair at the top of the table I watched them as they tried to be comfortable around each other. The boys awkward and embarrassed, the girls all giggly and nervous as it was clear that there was perhaps the first flutterings of feelings coming through.
I was never a great one with the girls as a kid, I could make friends with them easily no problem at all but I would have needed to be hit in the face with a shovel to pick up on any 'signals' and I guess I missed a few oppoutunitys with it. I did okay as I got older, although Im convinced that had more to do with dutch courage than any sudden change in my social skills.
I watched the looks the girls gave each other, a look only the female of the species would undertsand that 'I like him' that my duaghter is so good at picking up on. I watched as my nephew not quite old enough to understand what was going on (his mother hopes anyway, as my daughter is a few years older as are her mates) but embarrassed all the same. His friend turning red everytime one of them laughed or said something to him and us, the grown ups, well that would exclude my brother in law and I, making it worse by making kissing noises at them.
I didnt always want to go for dinner to my In-laws truth be told. There were numerous times I could have done without it, but sitting there Sunday I realised why they put so much emphasis on it. Your friends will come and go but the one constant you have in life is your family. My family dynamic has changed massively over the years and it will continue to change further as my kids grow up. Friends for dinner will be replaced by partners, the laughter of my youngest, that high pitched giggle they all seem to have, will hopefully be replaced by grandkids.
The one thing that I hope to create though is a sense of belonging. That no matter what your week has been like, no matter who youve argued with within the family, that come Sunday there is a place waiting for you at my table for dinner. The same way my In-laws did for me for all those years.
A little naive perhaps but something I will cling onto dearly until my last breath or Im not able to do the dinners anymore. Family to me means everything, and Im proud of mine.
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Oi Fatty!!
What do you think when you see someone who is overweight? Do you think what a fat git? Do you think glad thats not me? Or do you think I wonder how that happened? If you're honest I bet most of us think what a fat git right? Is that assumption fair though? I read an article yesterday by a journalist on Fleet Street who in my view decided to absolutley destroy someone who is overweight because she needs care. I dont know this persons history or the reason for their weight gain but its important to remeber that I guarantee that this journalist doesn't either. Yet they took the moral high ground and destroyed this person to the readers of their blog. It was bordering on bullying and it really annoyed me, hence this blog.
There are reasons people are obese. Its rammed down thier throats every single day about how gorgeous this product tastes and how they will be cool and happy if they eat it. We bang on about how schools are losing thier fields and how kids dont do enough exercise yet we allow Macdonalds to sponsor kids football in this country. We encourage kids to get their parents to go to certain supermarkets to purchase goods for vouchers, yet these same supermarkest place chocolate in front of the tills and make queing times longer than they should be so as kids will pick up the chocolate.
We allow Fast Food chains to run promotions that allow kids to eat free there when an adult buys a meal and then reward them with free ice cream and a toy. We allow Cereal compaines to cover our kids breakfasts in chocolate knowing that its marketed as the most important meal of the day. We allow our kids to buy soft drinks full of sugar because they are giving away free music or an ipod on the can.
Yet we still wonder why we have an obesity problem in this country? Its there in front of your eyes. We are all different, we all have different will powers and weaknesses. We all have different metabolism as well. My brother in law can eat three Big Macs and has never gained an ounce, I look at one and I gain four pounds. Its what makes us all different. There are a few reasons why people are obese in my opinion and they are as follows:
Firstly through bad eating habits and laziness with regards to exercise. These people can only help themsleves and until they choose to do so then there isn't a lot that can be done for them. I put them in the same bracket as Smokers. They know what they are putting into their bodies will kill them and eventually they will die. Its thier choice.
Secondly you have kids who are overwieght, these are fed fatty foods by thier parents and its mainly because their parents know no better that they end up obese. Is it fair to blame the kids? No you blame the parents but you educate them and help them to lose weight and this way they start to see a change in their well being.
Finally you have the less obvious group. These people eat because they have low self esteem, are unhappy or are being bullied in some way. The thing that binds them all together is that they eat because they get comfort from it.
They get a sugar rush that makes them feel better about themselves for a while, they are trying to change the way they look so perhaps the bully will not pick them out from the crowd. They carry scars inside of them that cant be healed because they wont let someone in to help them heel it, so they carry on eating, getting bigger and bigger.
They eat more and more of the wrong foods, the foods the advertisers tell them to eat to be cool and sexy, telling themselevs that they dont care what they look like but secretly falling deeper and deeper into a depression that only gets worse the more they eat. They see the looks of disgust from people in the street and they feel ashamed but they bury it deeper because they know when they eat that next cake, that next burger, that next chocolate bar the rush they get off of it will make them feel better. Except they dont, not really, becuase that feeling fades away and the pain returns harder and deeper than it did before.
They become the happy go lucky funny person. Always seeming to be cheerful and laughing and joking yet inside no one seems to care enough to ask them how they feel. They play along with the way their friends see them because its easier that way. Its easier to be the person they have become rather than be the person they want to be.
Next time you see someone who is overweight don't judge them because you don't know them. We all have our issues, some carry them with the help of drink, others with drugs, obese people do it with food. The first group can only help themsleves but wont, the second group need educating. The third group? Well they need your love and support. They may stumble they may fall but THEY WILL thank you in the end you just need to be patient with them.
There are reasons they are overwieght, deep underlying reasons why they have allowed themselves to become what they have and they and only they can change that. You can offer them support and be friendly to them but you must not judge them because it isnt your place to do so.
How do I know so much about the third group of people? Because I was one of them.
I now have a facebook page called A Teller Of Tales. I'll be adding some exclusive content on their as well so please feel free to like the page, thanks in advance.
There are reasons people are obese. Its rammed down thier throats every single day about how gorgeous this product tastes and how they will be cool and happy if they eat it. We bang on about how schools are losing thier fields and how kids dont do enough exercise yet we allow Macdonalds to sponsor kids football in this country. We encourage kids to get their parents to go to certain supermarkets to purchase goods for vouchers, yet these same supermarkest place chocolate in front of the tills and make queing times longer than they should be so as kids will pick up the chocolate.
We allow Fast Food chains to run promotions that allow kids to eat free there when an adult buys a meal and then reward them with free ice cream and a toy. We allow Cereal compaines to cover our kids breakfasts in chocolate knowing that its marketed as the most important meal of the day. We allow our kids to buy soft drinks full of sugar because they are giving away free music or an ipod on the can.
Yet we still wonder why we have an obesity problem in this country? Its there in front of your eyes. We are all different, we all have different will powers and weaknesses. We all have different metabolism as well. My brother in law can eat three Big Macs and has never gained an ounce, I look at one and I gain four pounds. Its what makes us all different. There are a few reasons why people are obese in my opinion and they are as follows:
Firstly through bad eating habits and laziness with regards to exercise. These people can only help themsleves and until they choose to do so then there isn't a lot that can be done for them. I put them in the same bracket as Smokers. They know what they are putting into their bodies will kill them and eventually they will die. Its thier choice.
Secondly you have kids who are overwieght, these are fed fatty foods by thier parents and its mainly because their parents know no better that they end up obese. Is it fair to blame the kids? No you blame the parents but you educate them and help them to lose weight and this way they start to see a change in their well being.
Finally you have the less obvious group. These people eat because they have low self esteem, are unhappy or are being bullied in some way. The thing that binds them all together is that they eat because they get comfort from it.
They get a sugar rush that makes them feel better about themselves for a while, they are trying to change the way they look so perhaps the bully will not pick them out from the crowd. They carry scars inside of them that cant be healed because they wont let someone in to help them heel it, so they carry on eating, getting bigger and bigger.
They eat more and more of the wrong foods, the foods the advertisers tell them to eat to be cool and sexy, telling themselevs that they dont care what they look like but secretly falling deeper and deeper into a depression that only gets worse the more they eat. They see the looks of disgust from people in the street and they feel ashamed but they bury it deeper because they know when they eat that next cake, that next burger, that next chocolate bar the rush they get off of it will make them feel better. Except they dont, not really, becuase that feeling fades away and the pain returns harder and deeper than it did before.
They become the happy go lucky funny person. Always seeming to be cheerful and laughing and joking yet inside no one seems to care enough to ask them how they feel. They play along with the way their friends see them because its easier that way. Its easier to be the person they have become rather than be the person they want to be.
Next time you see someone who is overweight don't judge them because you don't know them. We all have our issues, some carry them with the help of drink, others with drugs, obese people do it with food. The first group can only help themsleves but wont, the second group need educating. The third group? Well they need your love and support. They may stumble they may fall but THEY WILL thank you in the end you just need to be patient with them.
There are reasons they are overwieght, deep underlying reasons why they have allowed themselves to become what they have and they and only they can change that. You can offer them support and be friendly to them but you must not judge them because it isnt your place to do so.
How do I know so much about the third group of people? Because I was one of them.
I now have a facebook page called A Teller Of Tales. I'll be adding some exclusive content on their as well so please feel free to like the page, thanks in advance.
Monday, 6 February 2012
Valentines Day
As a child I hated Valentines Day. I was never the most popular off kids but that didn't stop me hoping that today I would find a collection of cards waiting for me. I would make my way to school and see the latest romances holding hands and kissing until one of them needed air desperately. Apparently the trick was to breathe through your nose!! I wish someone had told me that one, I tried for years to breathe through my ears.
I would sit patiently at my desk, too nervous to lift the lid hoping that the cards would be hidden inside. The wooden desk would seem larger than ever at this time of year but always smaller and lacking the size needed to hide within when the lack of cards became apparent. I would hide my disappointment and watch as the most popular Girl and Boy of the time would get double figures and wonder if one day I would be that lucky.
It mattered so much back then, to the teenage me, that I wonder how I ever got through it. I had my heart broken more than once, I always chased after the ones who were just a little out of my league. I got lucky a few times and did punch above my weight every now and then. It felt good to hear the comments of "You lucky git" and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. It never lasted long though soon enough I was back chasing dreams I couldn't carry.
Ultimately though I was the one who would be standing outside with their face pressed against the glass looking in. That was until I met you. I knew straight away you were the one, you have always been the one. There will never be another. Four kids and thirty years bind us, we are not always perfect but we work and we make it work, we've done that ever since we met when we were 17.
I loved you from the moment I saw you and I always have. We have been through so much together and yet we have never waived or broken. These past few years have been our toughest, yet somehow we are still here, together, and that's more credit to you than me.
I've made mistakes and done some stupid things, let's be honest the only reason we still have friends is because of you, not me. You were there for me through the loss of my dad, and you were there for me when I had my meltdown and finally sought the help I needed.
We are like chalk and cheese with some of our interests but that is also what binds us as we have so much to talk about. Ive written about you many times on here but it didn't seem enough somehow, as if I could have done more. Ive caused you worry and stress and yet you are still here. Still giving me grief for putting Jean's in the tumble drier or not washing up properly.
So many relationships have gone to the wall, but not us, not yet. I hope never. 24 years ago I proposed to you on Valentines Day. I had it all planned, nice dinner, and then I'd get down on one knee. I didnt though, the moment I saw you that evening I was down on my knee and you said yes. I wouldn't change it for a thing.
I will buy you your rose for Valentines Day like I always do, that will never change. Youll kill it in a few days because you forget to water it, that will also never change.
Im not the greatest writer or the best story teller, but I find it easier to write words than say them. Say thank you for the last 30 years and if I'm lucky enough to get another 30 I hope they are with you.
I love you doris
Tony x
I would sit patiently at my desk, too nervous to lift the lid hoping that the cards would be hidden inside. The wooden desk would seem larger than ever at this time of year but always smaller and lacking the size needed to hide within when the lack of cards became apparent. I would hide my disappointment and watch as the most popular Girl and Boy of the time would get double figures and wonder if one day I would be that lucky.
It mattered so much back then, to the teenage me, that I wonder how I ever got through it. I had my heart broken more than once, I always chased after the ones who were just a little out of my league. I got lucky a few times and did punch above my weight every now and then. It felt good to hear the comments of "You lucky git" and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. It never lasted long though soon enough I was back chasing dreams I couldn't carry.
Ultimately though I was the one who would be standing outside with their face pressed against the glass looking in. That was until I met you. I knew straight away you were the one, you have always been the one. There will never be another. Four kids and thirty years bind us, we are not always perfect but we work and we make it work, we've done that ever since we met when we were 17.
I loved you from the moment I saw you and I always have. We have been through so much together and yet we have never waived or broken. These past few years have been our toughest, yet somehow we are still here, together, and that's more credit to you than me.
I've made mistakes and done some stupid things, let's be honest the only reason we still have friends is because of you, not me. You were there for me through the loss of my dad, and you were there for me when I had my meltdown and finally sought the help I needed.
We are like chalk and cheese with some of our interests but that is also what binds us as we have so much to talk about. Ive written about you many times on here but it didn't seem enough somehow, as if I could have done more. Ive caused you worry and stress and yet you are still here. Still giving me grief for putting Jean's in the tumble drier or not washing up properly.
So many relationships have gone to the wall, but not us, not yet. I hope never. 24 years ago I proposed to you on Valentines Day. I had it all planned, nice dinner, and then I'd get down on one knee. I didnt though, the moment I saw you that evening I was down on my knee and you said yes. I wouldn't change it for a thing.
I will buy you your rose for Valentines Day like I always do, that will never change. Youll kill it in a few days because you forget to water it, that will also never change.
Im not the greatest writer or the best story teller, but I find it easier to write words than say them. Say thank you for the last 30 years and if I'm lucky enough to get another 30 I hope they are with you.
I love you doris
Tony x
Tuesday, 9 August 2011
It's Time For Us All To Take A Stand
As I walked to work this morning to get the tube there was an atmosphere in the air. The like of which I haven't ever felt around where I live before. It was on of fear and anxiety, palpable in the air flowing around me. Looters and scum came to my town last night. I saw sights I never thought I would see, sights that will stay with me for as long as I live.
Riot police standing in a line outside of The Kenneth Moore theatre in Ilford High Road, ready to face the onslaught of what was coming their way. Looters smashing in the doors of Debenhams in Romford Market, hooded scum getting off the bus and smashing Greggs to pieces in Barkingside high street. These are not inner city streets, these are small towns on the edge of Essex/East London, unfortunately though there was an air of inveatabilty about the whole scenario.
What ever your political want, this has been coming for many years now, the traditional areas around where I live which were once focal points of Jews, Sikhs, and Irish have been over ran with bad parents who don't give a shit about what their kids get up to and do. Does it surprise you I'm not blaming the immigrants, the asylum seekers or the Muslims?. Why should I? It doesn't matter what colour or creed you are if you have children and you don't bring them up to respect the people they live around you could be yellow with pink spots, a bad parent is a bad parent.
People have hidden behind the Human rights act as a reason for not parenting their children. They take from the state and then expect the state to clear up after them. Communities that once bonded together are now split down the middle, fratured beyond repair, because the children who are respectful and work for a living are being targeted by the kids that don't. There is no easy fix to tis situation it will take many years to correct and successive governments have swept the problem under the carpet.
I was on twitter for most of the night and saw the call from numerous people, even myself at one stage, to send the army in. That wouldn't have solved the problem it would have escalated it. The army do a brilliant job, but they are trained to kill, and they have no place on the streets of this country. I have an enormous amount of respect for them and the job they do, but we need a strong police force with the powers to act rather than tanks rolling down the streets.
This government has one chance, and only one chance, to change this country back into the great country it once was. It won't be easy, but they need our help and not our condemnation. I agree they could have returned from holiday earlier, but they can only act on the information they are given. I would bet my house on the fact that David Cameron was being told the police had it under control, by senior policeman who don't have a clue, clearly they didn't, by the way I'm not blaming the police in any way they are exstremley brave men and women and do a job I couldn't so they won't be criticised by me, but it became evident that it was out of control completely.
David Cameron now has to do the following in my opinion if he wants to win back the trust of the country
1. Anyone found to be in procession of items that were looted needs to be sent to prison, they are criminals end of.
2. Anyone who caused damage last night must be sent to clear it up, the cost of repairing the damage be removed from their benefits and then be sent to prison. If they are working for a living then their employers to dock their wages accordingly and sack them for bringing their company into disrepute.
3. Any child found to be under 16 and proven to have taken part last night to be sent to a young offenders institue
4. Any parent of said child to be convicted of willful neglect and their benefits to be docked to repay the damage, if that parent is working then again their employers needs to dock the money from their wages.
5. Rip up and rewrite the human rights act, stop people hiding behind it and let the police do their job without fear of being sued.
If you are old enough to participate in looting, rioting, destruction of property, and putting fear into ordinary citizens then you are old enough to face the full force of the law. It's time this country stopped pussy footing around with group hugs and play stations and made people accountable for their actions before its too late.
It worries me that tonight voilence could once again erupt on our streets, that once again our streets could be a mass of destruction but anyone that is reading this I ask this I ask this of you. Please don't take to the streets and confront these yobs, we don't need groups of vigilantes running a mock, attacking people with bats and other such objects. I fully understand the feeling of wanting to do this I really do, but there are other ways of doing this.
We all have to stop hiding behind our curtains and fearing our neighbours because of the colour of their skin or their religion. We need to get know them, and yes they must be far more open and honest with us as well, the laws of this land need to change, we know that. Immigration is at saturation point and has been for a few years now, we need to be toghter with it, but we also need to be able to deport criminals, fake asylum seekers and unlawful immigrants than we are no matter how much money it costs us in the short term.
The time now though isn't about scoring cheap political points, it's about making sure that laws are changed and that people feel safe where they live. It's about making parents responsible for the children they bring up and educate, it's about politicians being held far more accountable than they have ever been before. Mostly though it's about doing the right thing, making sure that we lead with our heads and not our hearts, as difficult as that might be, because in the end if we lead with our hearts then the scum win and we all lose.
Follow me on twitter @ahodgson72
Riot police standing in a line outside of The Kenneth Moore theatre in Ilford High Road, ready to face the onslaught of what was coming their way. Looters smashing in the doors of Debenhams in Romford Market, hooded scum getting off the bus and smashing Greggs to pieces in Barkingside high street. These are not inner city streets, these are small towns on the edge of Essex/East London, unfortunately though there was an air of inveatabilty about the whole scenario.
What ever your political want, this has been coming for many years now, the traditional areas around where I live which were once focal points of Jews, Sikhs, and Irish have been over ran with bad parents who don't give a shit about what their kids get up to and do. Does it surprise you I'm not blaming the immigrants, the asylum seekers or the Muslims?. Why should I? It doesn't matter what colour or creed you are if you have children and you don't bring them up to respect the people they live around you could be yellow with pink spots, a bad parent is a bad parent.
People have hidden behind the Human rights act as a reason for not parenting their children. They take from the state and then expect the state to clear up after them. Communities that once bonded together are now split down the middle, fratured beyond repair, because the children who are respectful and work for a living are being targeted by the kids that don't. There is no easy fix to tis situation it will take many years to correct and successive governments have swept the problem under the carpet.
I was on twitter for most of the night and saw the call from numerous people, even myself at one stage, to send the army in. That wouldn't have solved the problem it would have escalated it. The army do a brilliant job, but they are trained to kill, and they have no place on the streets of this country. I have an enormous amount of respect for them and the job they do, but we need a strong police force with the powers to act rather than tanks rolling down the streets.
This government has one chance, and only one chance, to change this country back into the great country it once was. It won't be easy, but they need our help and not our condemnation. I agree they could have returned from holiday earlier, but they can only act on the information they are given. I would bet my house on the fact that David Cameron was being told the police had it under control, by senior policeman who don't have a clue, clearly they didn't, by the way I'm not blaming the police in any way they are exstremley brave men and women and do a job I couldn't so they won't be criticised by me, but it became evident that it was out of control completely.
David Cameron now has to do the following in my opinion if he wants to win back the trust of the country
1. Anyone found to be in procession of items that were looted needs to be sent to prison, they are criminals end of.
2. Anyone who caused damage last night must be sent to clear it up, the cost of repairing the damage be removed from their benefits and then be sent to prison. If they are working for a living then their employers to dock their wages accordingly and sack them for bringing their company into disrepute.
3. Any child found to be under 16 and proven to have taken part last night to be sent to a young offenders institue
4. Any parent of said child to be convicted of willful neglect and their benefits to be docked to repay the damage, if that parent is working then again their employers needs to dock the money from their wages.
5. Rip up and rewrite the human rights act, stop people hiding behind it and let the police do their job without fear of being sued.
If you are old enough to participate in looting, rioting, destruction of property, and putting fear into ordinary citizens then you are old enough to face the full force of the law. It's time this country stopped pussy footing around with group hugs and play stations and made people accountable for their actions before its too late.
It worries me that tonight voilence could once again erupt on our streets, that once again our streets could be a mass of destruction but anyone that is reading this I ask this I ask this of you. Please don't take to the streets and confront these yobs, we don't need groups of vigilantes running a mock, attacking people with bats and other such objects. I fully understand the feeling of wanting to do this I really do, but there are other ways of doing this.
We all have to stop hiding behind our curtains and fearing our neighbours because of the colour of their skin or their religion. We need to get know them, and yes they must be far more open and honest with us as well, the laws of this land need to change, we know that. Immigration is at saturation point and has been for a few years now, we need to be toghter with it, but we also need to be able to deport criminals, fake asylum seekers and unlawful immigrants than we are no matter how much money it costs us in the short term.
The time now though isn't about scoring cheap political points, it's about making sure that laws are changed and that people feel safe where they live. It's about making parents responsible for the children they bring up and educate, it's about politicians being held far more accountable than they have ever been before. Mostly though it's about doing the right thing, making sure that we lead with our heads and not our hearts, as difficult as that might be, because in the end if we lead with our hearts then the scum win and we all lose.
Follow me on twitter @ahodgson72
Thursday, 21 July 2011
Annoyed
There are certain things that annoy me, I try not to let them take over my day as that then means I walk around like a bear who has his hand stuck in a honey pot and can't get it out all day. There are however some instances of stupidity that are so bad, so annoying, so damn right infuriating that they need slapping in the face with a huge wet cod. So for your enjoyment and my own sanity I am about to go on a rant of nuclear proportions. You have been warned.
DVLA
How bloody hard can it be? You pay £33.50 to renew your driving license, the lovely people in the post office tell you it will be with you within 10 working days. You explain that you need it to complete your house move and they smile sweetly and say 'you will have it within the required time' you thank them and go home waiting for the postman to drop it through your letter box.......and three weeks later you are still waiting.
So you call the DVLA and get through to a person on the end of the phone ( we shall them Jessie, I have no idea if that's their real name but what the hell I don't care and to be honest he could have been a transvestite who recently buried his mother and is now sitting at work in her clothes for all the use he was). Anyway Jessie tells you that because it isn't on his computer screen he can't tell you where it is. You explain that the post office said it would be 10 days and you paid the exspress delivery for it. Jessie sighs and says that he cannot help you until it has been three weeks exactly as he cannot access the system until then. When he can access the system he won't be able to tell you where it is, just if it's been processed or not. You again explain the need for it but hey Jessis is programmed to read a script and cannot deviate from it as the seems on his mothers ball gown will burst and everyone will see his pink bra doesn't match with the green g-string he's wearing. 'call back in a few day's he says. You enquire how that will help and Jessie now with his five o'clock shadow showing says hat he will then chase it up and get back to you in two weeks. Fearing an anurisam you hang up, feeling like someone has just dumped in your toilet and left the skid marks on the pan for you to clean.
Estate Agents
Oh my old favourite the much abused and downtrodden estate agent. Oh shucks I know some of you are not as bad as the one I'm going to tell you about and you do a great job, so go on then give each other a hug and say well done to each other, yeah go on you deserve it after all your not a service industry or making a shit load of money out of people selling their houses are you? I mean you get such a bad press, well I think we should all have a bank holiday in your honour just so as we can say, oh my god it's sticking in my throat, 'thank you, you bunch of money grabbing manipulative bastards'. The estate agent who I am buying my house from is the lowest, worst kind of estate agent there is. She doesn't listen to anything I tell her, she lies on a regular basis, and rings me EVERY SINGLE DAY to ask me the same bloody question.
She plays a great game as well, are you ready you may want to try it with some of your mates, here are the rules.
1. Ring purchaser and tell them you need some information as their client is getting worried and may pull out
2. This will send you into a panic as you think you are going to lose the house you and your family have set your heart on, the kids are excited and planning bedrooms, the wife's excited about new carpets, curtains and settee's, you are excited about finally getting the 50 inch plasma you've always wanted as well, so you do as they say and ring the mortgage broker/solicitor/DVLA.
3. After spending your lunch break making the necessary calls, after all you don't want to be the reason the house falls through do you? Imagine the sad little faces and tear stained cheeks, you ring back the estate agent armed with the information they so desperately needed only to be told they are on the phone and will call you back shortly.
4. This is the key moment, DON'T call back the person who you've scared the shit out of even when they ring you three, to four times and you say you are on the phone. No make them wait, oh I don't know, let's say 24hrs and then ring them, as if nothing has happened and say you don't need the information anymore.
This estate agant has done this 9 times to me now. Yes 9 times, she has me by the short and curlies, she is cupping me like a tight jockstrap, I know it and she knows it, so being the man that I am what do I do? Do I decide to speak to her boss? Do I storm in there and tell her exactly what I think of her? Do I ignore her calls and see how she likes it? No I do what any right minded married man would do. I send in the wife. That fearsome creature who has you even tighter by the balls than the estate agent and who doesn't like anyone cupping her husband unless it's her. You wind her up, this normally takes a few days of moaning about the estate agent but tell her you'll sort it knowing your getting nowhere, you watch as she sees you trying to keep a lid on it and then only then do you ask for her help.
If you have planned this correctly you will launch a 5ft 2" mother of four ball of fury at the estate agent who will then become a quivering wreck as she is told in no uncertain terms that you will by pass her and deal directly with the home owner, thus losing her, her commission in the process, if she ever calls your husband again.
Some may see this as a sign of weakness, me? Nope I see it as playing to my strengths. You do not what to get on the wrong side of my wife, oh she may look all cute and cuddly but beating deep inside her chest is a block of ice so cold that every now and then I have to turn the penguins away from the door as their ice caps are melting. When she feels someone is playing her, well it ain't pretty and my sons ain't going to know what's hit them when they are older and getting up to what all teenage boys do believe me, but I love her for it even more. She is the go to person and by god my way would have seen me arrested, her way? Well let's just say I got an apology from the estate agent. Brilliant wasn't it.
So ranting over for a while, but go on tell me what's annoying you and I'll put a top ten together for the absolute best ones.
DVLA
How bloody hard can it be? You pay £33.50 to renew your driving license, the lovely people in the post office tell you it will be with you within 10 working days. You explain that you need it to complete your house move and they smile sweetly and say 'you will have it within the required time' you thank them and go home waiting for the postman to drop it through your letter box.......and three weeks later you are still waiting.
So you call the DVLA and get through to a person on the end of the phone ( we shall them Jessie, I have no idea if that's their real name but what the hell I don't care and to be honest he could have been a transvestite who recently buried his mother and is now sitting at work in her clothes for all the use he was). Anyway Jessie tells you that because it isn't on his computer screen he can't tell you where it is. You explain that the post office said it would be 10 days and you paid the exspress delivery for it. Jessie sighs and says that he cannot help you until it has been three weeks exactly as he cannot access the system until then. When he can access the system he won't be able to tell you where it is, just if it's been processed or not. You again explain the need for it but hey Jessis is programmed to read a script and cannot deviate from it as the seems on his mothers ball gown will burst and everyone will see his pink bra doesn't match with the green g-string he's wearing. 'call back in a few day's he says. You enquire how that will help and Jessie now with his five o'clock shadow showing says hat he will then chase it up and get back to you in two weeks. Fearing an anurisam you hang up, feeling like someone has just dumped in your toilet and left the skid marks on the pan for you to clean.
Estate Agents
Oh my old favourite the much abused and downtrodden estate agent. Oh shucks I know some of you are not as bad as the one I'm going to tell you about and you do a great job, so go on then give each other a hug and say well done to each other, yeah go on you deserve it after all your not a service industry or making a shit load of money out of people selling their houses are you? I mean you get such a bad press, well I think we should all have a bank holiday in your honour just so as we can say, oh my god it's sticking in my throat, 'thank you, you bunch of money grabbing manipulative bastards'. The estate agent who I am buying my house from is the lowest, worst kind of estate agent there is. She doesn't listen to anything I tell her, she lies on a regular basis, and rings me EVERY SINGLE DAY to ask me the same bloody question.
She plays a great game as well, are you ready you may want to try it with some of your mates, here are the rules.
1. Ring purchaser and tell them you need some information as their client is getting worried and may pull out
2. This will send you into a panic as you think you are going to lose the house you and your family have set your heart on, the kids are excited and planning bedrooms, the wife's excited about new carpets, curtains and settee's, you are excited about finally getting the 50 inch plasma you've always wanted as well, so you do as they say and ring the mortgage broker/solicitor/DVLA.
3. After spending your lunch break making the necessary calls, after all you don't want to be the reason the house falls through do you? Imagine the sad little faces and tear stained cheeks, you ring back the estate agent armed with the information they so desperately needed only to be told they are on the phone and will call you back shortly.
4. This is the key moment, DON'T call back the person who you've scared the shit out of even when they ring you three, to four times and you say you are on the phone. No make them wait, oh I don't know, let's say 24hrs and then ring them, as if nothing has happened and say you don't need the information anymore.
This estate agant has done this 9 times to me now. Yes 9 times, she has me by the short and curlies, she is cupping me like a tight jockstrap, I know it and she knows it, so being the man that I am what do I do? Do I decide to speak to her boss? Do I storm in there and tell her exactly what I think of her? Do I ignore her calls and see how she likes it? No I do what any right minded married man would do. I send in the wife. That fearsome creature who has you even tighter by the balls than the estate agent and who doesn't like anyone cupping her husband unless it's her. You wind her up, this normally takes a few days of moaning about the estate agent but tell her you'll sort it knowing your getting nowhere, you watch as she sees you trying to keep a lid on it and then only then do you ask for her help.
If you have planned this correctly you will launch a 5ft 2" mother of four ball of fury at the estate agent who will then become a quivering wreck as she is told in no uncertain terms that you will by pass her and deal directly with the home owner, thus losing her, her commission in the process, if she ever calls your husband again.
Some may see this as a sign of weakness, me? Nope I see it as playing to my strengths. You do not what to get on the wrong side of my wife, oh she may look all cute and cuddly but beating deep inside her chest is a block of ice so cold that every now and then I have to turn the penguins away from the door as their ice caps are melting. When she feels someone is playing her, well it ain't pretty and my sons ain't going to know what's hit them when they are older and getting up to what all teenage boys do believe me, but I love her for it even more. She is the go to person and by god my way would have seen me arrested, her way? Well let's just say I got an apology from the estate agent. Brilliant wasn't it.
So ranting over for a while, but go on tell me what's annoying you and I'll put a top ten together for the absolute best ones.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
Social networking is taking over the world. It allows you to have conversations with people you have never met or are likely to ever meet. You have a small glimpse into their lives for a few moments, you either comment or you move on to the next comment that's been posted. Twitter is a great example of this.
I love twitter, it took some getting used to at first but now I check it all the time, I don't always comment but I do enjoy reading it. It allows me to read what others are thinking, what's annoying them, what's making them happy, or what is making them sad. I don't know these people, well some of them I've actually met, but others well, I wouldn't be able to spot them in the street.
There are people that are funny, there are people who use language you wouldn't see in a bar full of seamen who have been at sea for 6 months. There are people, like me, who write blogs, there are authors, there are the just plain crazy(thank you block button), then there are normal people as well. All of us tweeting about our lives, hopes and dreams. It's is utterly brilliant.
What does annoy me though is the way that people 'follow' celebrities to abuse them, why?. Most of the people that do this are in their late twenties or older. Is their life that shallow?. Take for instance a footballer I follow, he posted something last night that to me seemed to be letting of a bit of steam, yet someone posted it on a forum and then loads of people had their 10 pounds worth commenting on what it meant. There was no hidden message, something had annoyed him, he started to tweet about it then stopped, end of story, yet it has grown into a situation where he feels he has to explain what that tweet was about. Absolutely crazy and unnessaccary.
I know the argument is that 'if you don't want someone to read it don't post it on a public forum' but surely if we wish too interact with these people we should allow them some space sometimes to say what they are thinking. If it had been me that wrote what he did would anyone question it? No of course not, so why just because he plays football do we feel we have the right to know the ins and outs of everything that he says. In all honesty we don't and should mind our own bloody business.
If a celebrity wants to post, oh I don't know, 'I hate it when people talk about me' why do we feel the need to ask them who, what and where?. Why can't we just see that perhaps something has pissed them off and leave it at that. If you want to send a message supporting them then feel free to do so, but to ask for details, well would you go up to the man at the bus stop and ask him if he had sex with a horse last night? No you wouldn't, would you. So why is a famous person any different?
If we want them too continue interacting with us, to retweet us, to perhaps read things we've written, to answer a question, or even wish happy birthday to your mum's third cousin three times removed then sometimes, just sometimes, we have to let them be human and get on with their lives. We need to not dissect everything they say looking for hidden messages in everything they write, to accept that perhaps they need too get it out of their system before they can move on. Perhaps just like we do when we post things on Twitter.
I love twitter, it took some getting used to at first but now I check it all the time, I don't always comment but I do enjoy reading it. It allows me to read what others are thinking, what's annoying them, what's making them happy, or what is making them sad. I don't know these people, well some of them I've actually met, but others well, I wouldn't be able to spot them in the street.
There are people that are funny, there are people who use language you wouldn't see in a bar full of seamen who have been at sea for 6 months. There are people, like me, who write blogs, there are authors, there are the just plain crazy(thank you block button), then there are normal people as well. All of us tweeting about our lives, hopes and dreams. It's is utterly brilliant.
What does annoy me though is the way that people 'follow' celebrities to abuse them, why?. Most of the people that do this are in their late twenties or older. Is their life that shallow?. Take for instance a footballer I follow, he posted something last night that to me seemed to be letting of a bit of steam, yet someone posted it on a forum and then loads of people had their 10 pounds worth commenting on what it meant. There was no hidden message, something had annoyed him, he started to tweet about it then stopped, end of story, yet it has grown into a situation where he feels he has to explain what that tweet was about. Absolutely crazy and unnessaccary.
I know the argument is that 'if you don't want someone to read it don't post it on a public forum' but surely if we wish too interact with these people we should allow them some space sometimes to say what they are thinking. If it had been me that wrote what he did would anyone question it? No of course not, so why just because he plays football do we feel we have the right to know the ins and outs of everything that he says. In all honesty we don't and should mind our own bloody business.
If a celebrity wants to post, oh I don't know, 'I hate it when people talk about me' why do we feel the need to ask them who, what and where?. Why can't we just see that perhaps something has pissed them off and leave it at that. If you want to send a message supporting them then feel free to do so, but to ask for details, well would you go up to the man at the bus stop and ask him if he had sex with a horse last night? No you wouldn't, would you. So why is a famous person any different?
If we want them too continue interacting with us, to retweet us, to perhaps read things we've written, to answer a question, or even wish happy birthday to your mum's third cousin three times removed then sometimes, just sometimes, we have to let them be human and get on with their lives. We need to not dissect everything they say looking for hidden messages in everything they write, to accept that perhaps they need too get it out of their system before they can move on. Perhaps just like we do when we post things on Twitter.
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
To The Love Of My Life My Wife Happy Anniversary
This is a proper sentimental one but she deserves it. Ive written this so many times trying to get what I want to say down and its probably been one of the most difficult ones because I want it to be right for her to tell her how much I love her so here goes. Happy Anniversary x
It was 20 years ago today that I met the woman who would change my life forever and make me the man I am. My wife, My soul mate, My Best Friend. I suppose you could call us childhood sweethearts, we were 17 when we met and I can still remember it as clear as yesterday.
I was sitting in my future brother-in-laws clapped out beige Fiesta trying to get the attention of this other girl who Id asked out a few days earlier when there she was. All permed hair, Miami Vice style jacket, blue jeans and high heels. Hey the 80's had just finished what did you expect?.
I never believed in love at first sight but when I saw her I knew she was the girl for me. I cant explain it, something just went off in my head and I knew it was her. This though left me in a little bit of a predicament though. What I didn't know was that the girl Id just asked out was her mate. So being the kinda cool guy I was I quietly dumped her mate and turned my attention to Sarah.
It turned out to be one of the best decisions Ive ever made and Ive never regretted it. Ever. We have had hard times like everyone, we rarely argue and she makes me laugh everyday. She changed me for the better and supports me even when I have the most crazy of ideas. She has a way of persuading me to do things I don't want to do by making me feel guilty about until I do it. I wouldn't change that though its what I love about her.
We work at what we have, some people give up too easily, I never will. I know what I have is truly special to me. I will never do anything to hurt her, as Paul Newman once said "Why go out for burger when you have steak at home?" that to me sums up how I feel about her. She is everything I could ever possibly want. There will never be another.
She is the most important person in my life and I would be totally lost without her. She is the mother of my 4 kids. I knew when I met her that she was the one who I wanted to be with, to have kids with, to spend my life with. The best mum in the world to them and always does whatever she can to make sure they are happy and they get what they want within reason. She is the most caring and loving person I have ever met. She is so many peoples shoulder to cry on and she does it without moaning every time.
She changed me from the person I was to the person I am now and she did it not for herself but for me. To make me happier about myself and the person I want to be. She doesn't moan when I spend most of the night on my laptop writing my blogs and book. She understands this is what I want to do and supports me in doing this.
Id be lost without her, she is my whole world. I cannot explain to you how much I love and respect her and count myself extremely lucky to have met her. I could use all the cliches in the book but I'm trying not to because I don't want this too sound cheesy.
If you know her you ll understand what I'm saying. Some people go their whole lives not meeting the 'one', I'm one of the lucky ones who did. I know what Ive got and I'm never letting it go. We've been married 13 years this year and that's for life as well. To death do us part.
Sarah, I know you'll laugh at this blog and be a little embarrassed by it, you'll moan at me for being soppy as you always do, but well I just want you to know I love you with all my heart and I wake up every day realising how lucky I was too have met you when I did and the way you changed me for the better. I will continue to be the best father and husband I can because that is what you deserve. Nothing less. Thank you for being my wife, the mother of my kids, the person who changed me, but most of all for loving me. When we are old and grey I want us to be the old couple sitting on Hastings beach sharing a bag of chips and watching the youngsters walking by.
I love you Doris and I always will. xxx
I was sitting in my future brother-in-laws clapped out beige Fiesta trying to get the attention of this other girl who Id asked out a few days earlier when there she was. All permed hair, Miami Vice style jacket, blue jeans and high heels. Hey the 80's had just finished what did you expect?.
I never believed in love at first sight but when I saw her I knew she was the girl for me. I cant explain it, something just went off in my head and I knew it was her. This though left me in a little bit of a predicament though. What I didn't know was that the girl Id just asked out was her mate. So being the kinda cool guy I was I quietly dumped her mate and turned my attention to Sarah.
It turned out to be one of the best decisions Ive ever made and Ive never regretted it. Ever. We have had hard times like everyone, we rarely argue and she makes me laugh everyday. She changed me for the better and supports me even when I have the most crazy of ideas. She has a way of persuading me to do things I don't want to do by making me feel guilty about until I do it. I wouldn't change that though its what I love about her.
We work at what we have, some people give up too easily, I never will. I know what I have is truly special to me. I will never do anything to hurt her, as Paul Newman once said "Why go out for burger when you have steak at home?" that to me sums up how I feel about her. She is everything I could ever possibly want. There will never be another.
She is the most important person in my life and I would be totally lost without her. She is the mother of my 4 kids. I knew when I met her that she was the one who I wanted to be with, to have kids with, to spend my life with. The best mum in the world to them and always does whatever she can to make sure they are happy and they get what they want within reason. She is the most caring and loving person I have ever met. She is so many peoples shoulder to cry on and she does it without moaning every time.
She changed me from the person I was to the person I am now and she did it not for herself but for me. To make me happier about myself and the person I want to be. She doesn't moan when I spend most of the night on my laptop writing my blogs and book. She understands this is what I want to do and supports me in doing this.
Id be lost without her, she is my whole world. I cannot explain to you how much I love and respect her and count myself extremely lucky to have met her. I could use all the cliches in the book but I'm trying not to because I don't want this too sound cheesy.
If you know her you ll understand what I'm saying. Some people go their whole lives not meeting the 'one', I'm one of the lucky ones who did. I know what Ive got and I'm never letting it go. We've been married 13 years this year and that's for life as well. To death do us part.
Sarah, I know you'll laugh at this blog and be a little embarrassed by it, you'll moan at me for being soppy as you always do, but well I just want you to know I love you with all my heart and I wake up every day realising how lucky I was too have met you when I did and the way you changed me for the better. I will continue to be the best father and husband I can because that is what you deserve. Nothing less. Thank you for being my wife, the mother of my kids, the person who changed me, but most of all for loving me. When we are old and grey I want us to be the old couple sitting on Hastings beach sharing a bag of chips and watching the youngsters walking by.
I love you Doris and I always will. xxx
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Trust, Honesty and Respect
We as a race, I believe, are not meant to live an existence of loneliness. Some of us choose to do so and are happy to live their lives this way, I have nothing against this, but believe we are social animals, but I respect that persons right to chose, others do so through no fault of their own, either through the loss of a loved one, or having been left by that special someone who wanted something or someone else.
What we all want and need though I believe is trust, honesty and respect. This may come from our families or our peers, but mostly it comes from our friends. If you are lucky enough, you will be able to share your most intimate secrets with a member of your family, most of us however do not have this, so we turn to our friends when we need them, as we know they will always be there.
When you enter into a friendship you respect that persons views or beliefs, you may not agree with them, but you will, and do respect them. You can agree to disagree but a mutual respect is what keeps that friendship alive. You have the knowledge that you can tell them anything and they will listen, they may not agree, but they respect you enough to let you have your say. When you ask them to do, or not to do something, they respect you enough to do as you ask.
You ask for their trust from that person, to tell you when you need them to that things are going to be okay when you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. To be there to share the tears and heartbreak that life will always throw at us when we least expect it. To be there to offer support and encouragement to see you through those difficult times, but most importantly to also share the good times, the laughter and joy, those special bonds that only friends have from shared memories, a look, a glance that can reduce you to fits of laughter at the slightest instance, sharing moments that only you and your friends can share, that is what makes friendship so special and us unique as human beings.
Most of all though we ask for honesty, painful, hurtful, honesty, sometimes that we don't want to hear but only a friend can deliver, even when family have told us the same thing , and we have chosen not to listen, do we accept it from a friend. We know that the person we have shared our most intimate memories with will tell us honestly what they think, we may not want to hear it but we will listen, then take that person and hold them tightly to thank them only the way a friend can.
When this trust is broken it hurts more than any other, who do you turn to too speak to? We are left with many questions, why did they not respect me enough to not do that, why did they lie to me?, why did i trust them?. Painful questions that sometimes we may never get the answers to but will continue to ask, eating away at our self esteem until another friend picks us up and dusts us down, then tells us that everything will be okay and helps us move on.
The betrayal of a friend can be more painful than that of a loved one, but we will continue to follow the path of making friends throughout our life times. Some we make at school and they last forever, some we make through work and last a little while, some you lose through changing circumstances and some sadly you lose through death or betrayal.
We should cherish everyone of the friends we make, you never know how long they will last but whilst they do enjoy them as this is what memories are made of. Your best friend at school who has drifted away, the friend you went to lunch with or for a drink after work with who you no longer see, the friend you went to the local disco with, you may still know them, you may not through different reasons, but I bet reading this you have remembered the good times you had together, and I also bet I made you smile a little?
Above all though treat your friends with, Trust, Honesty and Respect, because with out this they aren't worth having, and you may miss out on some truly wonderful experiences which will last a lifetime.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Anthony
What we all want and need though I believe is trust, honesty and respect. This may come from our families or our peers, but mostly it comes from our friends. If you are lucky enough, you will be able to share your most intimate secrets with a member of your family, most of us however do not have this, so we turn to our friends when we need them, as we know they will always be there.
When you enter into a friendship you respect that persons views or beliefs, you may not agree with them, but you will, and do respect them. You can agree to disagree but a mutual respect is what keeps that friendship alive. You have the knowledge that you can tell them anything and they will listen, they may not agree, but they respect you enough to let you have your say. When you ask them to do, or not to do something, they respect you enough to do as you ask.
You ask for their trust from that person, to tell you when you need them to that things are going to be okay when you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. To be there to share the tears and heartbreak that life will always throw at us when we least expect it. To be there to offer support and encouragement to see you through those difficult times, but most importantly to also share the good times, the laughter and joy, those special bonds that only friends have from shared memories, a look, a glance that can reduce you to fits of laughter at the slightest instance, sharing moments that only you and your friends can share, that is what makes friendship so special and us unique as human beings.
Most of all though we ask for honesty, painful, hurtful, honesty, sometimes that we don't want to hear but only a friend can deliver, even when family have told us the same thing , and we have chosen not to listen, do we accept it from a friend. We know that the person we have shared our most intimate memories with will tell us honestly what they think, we may not want to hear it but we will listen, then take that person and hold them tightly to thank them only the way a friend can.
When this trust is broken it hurts more than any other, who do you turn to too speak to? We are left with many questions, why did they not respect me enough to not do that, why did they lie to me?, why did i trust them?. Painful questions that sometimes we may never get the answers to but will continue to ask, eating away at our self esteem until another friend picks us up and dusts us down, then tells us that everything will be okay and helps us move on.
The betrayal of a friend can be more painful than that of a loved one, but we will continue to follow the path of making friends throughout our life times. Some we make at school and they last forever, some we make through work and last a little while, some you lose through changing circumstances and some sadly you lose through death or betrayal.
We should cherish everyone of the friends we make, you never know how long they will last but whilst they do enjoy them as this is what memories are made of. Your best friend at school who has drifted away, the friend you went to lunch with or for a drink after work with who you no longer see, the friend you went to the local disco with, you may still know them, you may not through different reasons, but I bet reading this you have remembered the good times you had together, and I also bet I made you smile a little?
Above all though treat your friends with, Trust, Honesty and Respect, because with out this they aren't worth having, and you may miss out on some truly wonderful experiences which will last a lifetime.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Anthony
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