Monday, 6 February 2012

Valentines Day

As a child I hated Valentines Day. I was never the most popular off kids but that didn't stop me hoping that today I would find a collection of cards waiting for me. I would make my way to school and see the latest romances holding hands and kissing until one of them needed air desperately. Apparently the trick was to breathe through your nose!! I wish someone had told me that one, I tried for years to breathe through my ears.

I would sit patiently at my desk, too nervous to lift the lid hoping that the cards would be hidden inside. The wooden desk would seem larger than ever at this time of year but always smaller and lacking the size needed to hide within when the lack of cards became apparent. I would hide my disappointment and watch as the most popular Girl and Boy of the time would get double figures and wonder if one day I would be that lucky.

It mattered so much back then, to the teenage me, that I wonder how I ever got through it. I had my heart broken more than once, I always chased after the ones who were just a little out of my league. I got lucky a few times and did punch above my weight every now and then. It felt good to hear the comments of "You lucky git" and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. It never lasted long though soon enough I was back chasing dreams I couldn't carry.

Ultimately though I was the one who would be standing outside with their face pressed against the glass looking in. That was until I met you. I knew straight away you were the one, you have always been the one. There will never be another. Four kids and twenty odd years bind us, we are not always perfect but we work and we make it work, we've done that ever since we met when we were 17.

I read a lot of romantic fiction for no other reason than I enjoy it hugely, I read these stories because it reminds me of us, the instant attraction and knowing within minutes that we were meant for each other. I loved you from the moment I saw you and I always have. We have been through so much together and yet we have never waived or broken.

We are like chalk and cheese with some of our interests but that is also what binds us as we have so much to talk about. Ive written about you many times on here but it didn't seem enough somehow, as if I could have done more. You've supported me as Ive spent many nights these past few months writing, never asking to read it just wanting to know if Im happy with what Ive written and listened when Ive said Im not, and encouraged me when I have struggled.

I will buy you your rose for Valentines Day like I always do, that will never change. This year though I have something else for you. Its done, Ive finished the book. If you are the only person who ever gets to read it I wont care because I wrote it for you. I don't write for fame or fortune, for praise and plaudits, I write because I enjoy it and the enjoyment it brings me.

Im not the greatest writer or the best story teller Im me, the man who loves you and always will and for you I dedicate Meant To Be. I hope you like it.

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