Saturday, 11 December 2010

The Christmas Nativty, Dont You Just Love Them?

If you are a parent you will know exactly where this blog is coming from. If your not don't worry just enjoy the pain, trauma, joy and stress that is the Christmas Nativity and count yourself lucky that you haven't been put through this yet. It is a challenge of pride and joy and can be also deeply embarrassing. I should know Ive watched so many of them now nothing and I mean nothing surprises me.

My kids have down the years been Mary, A Tree (she was a very good tree Ill have you know so stop laughing) A Wise Man and A Reindeer who couldn't have been less interested if he tried. I have filmed them, photographed them and cried with laughter at completely the wrong moment, mainly at other peoples children whilst dying of embarrassment at my own. That's what a Christmas Nativity is all about.

They have changed so much though, take today it was Michael's first school nativity play. Excited all night last night today he was going to be a Wise Man carrying gold to Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus.....and the Angry Sheep. Yep you read that right The Angry Sheep. What on earth an Angry Sheep has to do with Christmas is beyond me. Intrigued at how this would fit in I had to have a ticket too watch it.

It was the usual clutch of parents. Standing on chairs, standing in front of each other not caring that the people behind them couldn't see because they had too get that picture of
Johnny/Tariq/Isabelle/Joshua/Mohamed (delete as appropriate I think I got them all ) to show off to the family at Christmas dinner and tell every one how great they was. Yes they any good? Oh yes it was one of the best ones Ive ever seen. One small child farted. Well I say small but to be fair to the kid they were packing some weight and I guess that is what gave it its strength. It was so loud I wanted too clap. I couldn't help it I burst out laughing. Yes me a grown man laughing at a child farting, and do you know what made it worse? I was the only one. As I got death looks from she who must be obeyed and disapproving looks from the other parents tears rolled down my face. I tried too stop I really did but I couldn't and that made it worse, but also funnier at the same time. Come on people there is nothing like the joy on a child's face when they let rip, or is that just me? Oh well give it a go you may laugh yourself.

After pulling myself together and a helpful pinch from she who must be obeyed, the play started. There were angels, Christmas trees, yes they dressed children as Christmas trees, and Shepherd's. Then there was the Angry Sheep. Oh she looked great. Head too toe in a sheep's costume she couldn't have been or looked more pissed off if she tried. There was Mum right down the front trying her best too get her too smile but you just knew she wanted too kill her. The kids started too sing The Angry Sheep Song and the parents clapped along as well. Then the Wise Men entered the room. Michael's moment of glory.

To be fair he did okay. He kept smiling at me and waving and she who must be obeyed took lots of photos, oh so many photos. I'm sorry son I tried too stop her but she wasn't having any of it. Then Mary, Joesph and baby Jesus entered the room. Well Mary and Joseph did the Baby Jesus was dropped three times and ended up being held upside down. They too their places on the stage and sat there. Yep they didn't do any of the 'Oh there is no room at the Inn' stuff. Oh no they all started singing about the Angry Sheep again, and again, and again until the bloody thing was happy. Well I take it she was happy as the song said she should be but I wasn't sure I was listening for the Phantom Farter again, and this time I would clap!

What the hell has an Angry Sheep got to do with Christmas? Even Laura my eldest when she was Mary in her first school play didn't do any of the stuff I remembered when I was a kid. Why not? I mean I liked the Angry Sheep it was different but where was the PROPER NATIVITY? Nowhere that's were!. Michael when he was at Nursery did a Christmas Nativity. Well sort of it was about the Reindeer finding Father Christmas. Not too bad I suppose except he spent most of the time looking out of the window and picking his nose. He was also the only Reindeer who refused to wear the ears. I would have loved it if they had tried too dress him up as the Angry Sheep today he wouldn't have had any of it. Even though he refused too dress up with the Reindeer ears he had a great time doing what he wanted to do, and he enjoyed himself today as well. He behaved and sang along when he needed to do.

The Christmas Nativity is a battle ground. Parents care more about it than the kids!. They all have too get in front, they all have to have the child at the front and make sure that little Johnny/Tariq/Isabelle/Joshua/Mohamed (Did I get them all again?) are the stars of the show. This is hugely important in the battle ground that is the infant and Junior school playground. Me? I'm not bothered to be honest. I like watching the kid that doesn't care, the one picking his nose, scratching, staring out the window, talking too his mate or even farting loudly. They don't care whats going on and I thank them for that because they make it so much fun for me. I sit there laughing my head off at them and having the time of my life.

Reece has his play next week at Nursery, god knows what he will be, possibly a tree or even Joseph, who knows? But I'm sure he will be the one picking his nose, perhaps telling everyone he has farted or needs a wee. I'm gutted I cant get out of work too see it. Ill have too watch the video and I hope my boy has a great time and doesn't show his Mum and Nans up too much. Oh go on then just a little bit after all it is the Christmas Nativity.

1 comment:

  1. That brought it all back to me after many years ago in the same position.