"Summer, Summer, Summertime" that has to be the best summer time record of all time. Take a bow Mr Fresh Prince son that's a cracking tune. Well done fella, possibly one of my favourite tunes of all time. So here we go then Gants Hill Part 2. The final chapter, well sort of Ive decided to do one about my stag do, god that was another mad night as well. Anyway lets get on with it shall we.
Gary bought himself a moped, light blue it was and he loved it. Apart from the fact all he needed was a Domino's Pizza box on the back, he looked very cool on it. It saved him a fortune in petrol as well. That was until the night he let Wardy have a go. Now Marc's a nice fella, its just he gets himself into situations sometimes that I bet even surprise him. Like the night he had a go of Gary's moped. All was going well, he had been around the roundabout a few times and was bombing up and down the road on it. That was until he took longer than expected to make another trip around the roundabout. The problem? He'd fallen off. Don't worry he was okay, the moped wasn't though. Nothing major he had just bent the handle bars a little, well I say a little, you see Marc had bent them so much that he had to have his hands across his body to the left. whilst the wheel was straight. To say Gary wasn't pleased wouldn't be fair, he went ape. He was trying to hit Wardy whilst he stood there in the motorcycle helmet. I couldn't help it I had to laugh it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. Gary going ape, Wardy apologising whilst wearing a crash helmet utter priceless.
Then we had Ian's ever falling apart beige Fiesta. He wasn't the most careful driver in the world if we are honest, don't worry he drives a massive lorry now delivering beer so he'll be okay. We went to Silverstone for my birthday to watch some racing. I went with John (white vest, RS2000 ) and Mark Thomas, Ian went with Wardy. John being the knob he was left Ian behind drove straight in and parked and forgot to give Ian his ticket to get in. There were no mobiles in those days so Ian had no way of getting hold of us to let us know when he got there, so he had no choice but to go back home again. This was where the problem started. Those of you that know Gallows Corner flyover know it has a little ramp and then kicks over to the right slightly. I'm sure Ian knew this but what the hell he attacked it at 60 miles an hour, took off and landed with a thump upon which his back axle snapped. We knew none of this as we were at Silverstone. When we got back to Gants Hill later that day Ian was a bit pissed off to be honest, not sure whether it was about the car or John, but anyway he offered to give me a lift. Utter madness. The back of the car was swinging all over the place. He drove it like that for a few weeks as well.
Then there was the night Onions tried to kill me as well. To be fair it wasn't his fault. We were coming past Fairlop Waters doing about 110 in a 1 litre white Fiat Panda when a car pulled out in front of us. Utter panic stations. I screamed, Onions screamed and he slammed on the brakes. How we never hit that car is beyond me, it must still have my finger prints in the dashboard. The best bit was Wardy was in the back with his bird at the time and didn't hear a thing. He asked what all the shouting was about and then carried on as if he didn't have a care in the world. How we never brained him Ill never know.
To top all this off I finish with one more story about Camelot. One night around Halloween we decided to take the girls up to the woods and scare the shit out of them. The plan was that they would be so grateful we saved them that they would be thankful for ages. Yep that was the plan. It didn't quite work out that way though. You see the problem was we were stupid enough to take Wardys mum with us. She insisted on coming and we thought what the hell she was a good laugh it wont hurt. So off we went not knowing that between them had hatched a plan that was going to shit the life out if us. We all pulled into the car park and set off. All bravado and gob, telling the girls ghost stories to scare them and us all laughing about how clever we were. So we start going deeper and deeper into the woods, telling stories about the headless horseman, hey we were young it was the best we could do at short notice, what we didn't know was that Marc and his mum had something a little bit special planned for us. We walked into a clearing in the woods and the moon was shining. The girls were a little jumpy to be honest but we were okay, well that was until a bloke appeared in a mask. We looked at each other expecting one of us to start laughing, after a quick glance we realised that we were all there and this was a proper nutter. We did what all men do, yep we ran away leaving the kills in our wake. We were terrified. What we didn't know was that Wradys mum had arranged for her boyfriend to hide in the woods and jump out at us when we go there. We shit an absolute brick. We were still shaking when they got back to the car park laughing their heads off at us. I still laugh at that to this day as well.
So there you have it. I have had to leave a few crackers out due to legal reasons and the fact we never got caught and don't fancy a tug from the old bill now. We never did anything that harmed over people, we never robbed anyone either. We just sailed a little too close to the wind as all teenagers do. It was part of growing up. I had the time of my life and we discuss these stories and many others when we all get together, which isn't often enough these days.
Happy memories and happy times. I will be forever grateful for those crazy teenage years they were the making of me. Thank you all.
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