Monday, 4 October 2010

My Brother In Law Paul (Happy Birthday Mate)

Ive asked him many times to do one of my Big Interviews and he keeps saying he will, but never gets round to it. So seeing as today is his birthday here is my birthday gift to him. Next time I ask you mate and you say yes make sure you do it.

So where to start, well I've known Paul for 20 years and in that time he hasn't changed a bit. His time keeping is awful. He tells you he will be there in 20 minutes and your still waiting for him 2 hours later. People have crossed the Atlantic in a rowing boat, using cups for oars quicker than Paul has been able to get his arse out of bed.

He has had some great cars down the years as well the white Micra, it went so well with the ponytail and the leather jacket with the skulls on the back. He did look like any mothers dream, and every future father in laws nightmare. But hey they say love is blind and as he set off to university he attracted all the waifs and strays he could find.

There was the lady who turned up at his house one day saying she had been hired as Paul's cleaner. Not a problem with that you'd think. Well there was a little one, you see Paul had been pissed the night before and asked the local wino, who he had met in the Kebab shop and had by all accounts conducted an interview in there, if she wanted a job. She said yes and Bob's your Uncle there she was the very next day. How did he overcome this awkward moment? He gave her a rug. Yes a rug. She went away happy and Paul, well Paul went back to bed to sleep off another night of drink induced studying.

Then there was the time after we had returned home from my stag do where Paul was to be honest plastered. His sister tried to get him to stay the night but Paul being Paul decided he was going to walk home. He made it as far as the back garden where he fell over and went to sleep. Or the time in Spain when we crept back into the apartment after a drunken night out and instead of opening the kitchen door because it creaked and would wake people up, Paul decided too climb through the serving hatch. He was doing well until his legs disappeared and an almighty shout of "Oh @@@@ it " echoed around the room.

I could go on but I haven't the will or the time to be honest so I'm going to finish with a few nice things to say about him. Paul at the age of 18 was my Best Man at my wedding. He did a superb job of it, well lets be honest it wasn't that hard to follow me, I hadn't done a speech thinking I could wing it, big mistake, and got three sentences out and started blubbing, which Paul followed with the immortal line " I would like to say well done to Tony for that speech but to be honest I couldn't understand a bloody word" he bought the house down and he went down a storm and did me proud.

He is the brother I've never had. I've watched the pre teenager turn into a fantastic father too his two kids. Watched as he has turned into a great Uncle to my kids. Watched as he has become a successful policeman, something that makes me very proud and I know I couldn't face what he does day in day out. He is a great role model and although we don't spend as much time together as we used to, I know that when I need him he is there. He has never let me down. Ever.

The past few years haven't easy for you mate, but I hope your happy now ( don't worry Debbie if you are reading this I've got loads more stories where these come from, most of them too rude for my family blog but will come out when drink induced. ) and all I really wanted to say mate was Thanks. Thanks for being there too talk to when I needed someone to listen. Thanks for being there when all my kids were born. Thanks for being my Best Man all those years ago. Thanks for being the brother I never had. Thanks for all the times you've helped me out. Thanks for everything words cannot express how proud I am of you and the man you have become.

Happy Birthday fella from me to you.

1 comment:

  1. Amen to that. I have had one or two hefty nights out with the gants hill stallion myself mate.