Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Facebook

I stayed away from Facebook for a long time. I couldn't see the point to be honest. Friends of mine had accounts but it never really interested me. I set up a Facebook account a couple of years ago, had a look then left it alone for a couple of years. I went back to it properly in May last year and it has given me some of the best and worst times of my life.

The best was being able to get in contact with people I haven't seen for years, it also made it easy for me to get to know people from football as well and led to some great opportunity's for me over the past few months. It was easy to speak to people that I hadn't spoken to and look at photos of how they hadn't changed but the families that they had been blessed with. A friendship was rekindled that had died long ago and good memories were had and shared when we met.

The worst because people can turn on you very quickly. They look for things you haven't said and start abusing you with harsh words and lies that suit them. Their 'friends' then join in and before you know it you are in the middle of what is right and wrong and fighting to prove a point. It can be a very dark place at times, a very lonely place as well.Complete strangers posting things to your wall, people you have never heard of, saying what they want because someone they know doesn't like you. Its been tough at times.

I did what everyone does when they join. Accept every friend request you get, add all the suggestions you get from Facebook as well and before I knew it I was over 500 'friends'. I use the word 'friends' loosely for a reason because are they truly a friend?. Are they people that you could turn to and ask a question off or who tell you the truth when you needed to hear it no matter how hurt you would be?. I look at people on Facebook who post things like 'I have over 1000 friends' as if its some badge of honour. Do you know these people are is your thirst for acceptance and your lack of social skills mean that this is all you have in your life?.

That's perhaps a bit harsh but what I'm trying to say is, me, personally, I don't need to check my friends list to see how many I have and get a kick out of it. Ive had a mass cull on my Facebook friends list because to be honest I was bored with it. I was bored of my timeline being full of videos and stupid banal chatter. The numbers game nearly finished me off totally. For me though it was about finally letting go of the past. Friends that Id made and not spoken to in years who no longer wished to interact with me anymore for whatever reason. It was time to let them go finally. Keep the memories of course they are what make me smile even now, but to let them move on with their lives and me to get on with mine.

I have a friends list of about 250 now. Mainly family, people I went to school with that I want to talk to and people that Ive met over football. People that make me laugh and people that cheer me up. There is one issue that still irks me a little though and perhaps I'm as guilty of it as they are. I have people on here that will chat all day with me, but we can stand next to each other at the football, Ive done this on numerous occasions this season, and not say a word to each other. I mean it not a word. We have looked at each other, stood next to each other and not said a word to each other!. How bizarre is that?. I guess that's the difference of being able to say what you want on a social network, but have a face to face conversation?. That's an entirely different skill. However if you do see me at the football please say hello, I promise not to bite and if I see you first I say Hello first. Deal?

Here's the challenge then for ALL of you reading this blog. Have a look at your Facebook page and see how many relationships you are trying to hang onto from the past, how many of them you can let go off to move your life forward, how many of the people do you actually know, and finally how many do you want to keep?. Its easier than you think.

6 comments:

  1. I thin out my friends list about every month. It's sort of a cleansing exercise if you will. I still accept nearly every friend request but I have no problem bumping them off if we have no interactions other than "So and So needs your help" playing some stupid game.

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  2. Great post! I've been thinning out mine over time as well, I will never break 200 friends. Facebook does provide a lot of pressure to sometimes say the right thing as opposed to saying how you really feel. I loved this post!

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  3. Facebook can be brilliant as well as very lonely place. For all it's faults I wouldn't change it. Thanks for the comments I pleased you liked it.

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  4. I recently let go of around 1000 people associated with my account. Mainly because I didn't like what I was reading.
    Different levels of abuse were a key fact from these people which was directed at others, frankfully not towards me.
    One thing that gets my goat is the foul language used from some people. I accept it when they are angry and need a time to let loose about life but during general conversation it's not acceptable.

    Nice topic Anthony.
    I'm about to post this on my blog as it would be great for people to read as well.

    Take care,
    Daz :)

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  5. Thanks very much really apprecaite that. I find Facebook so much easier to use now that I have cut down on the amount of 'friends' I have. It was a chore but is now becoming a joy again.

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