Tuesday, 13 July 2010

One More Chance

How many times do we give forgive people that do us a wrong? How many times is enough not enough that we forgive or turn the other cheek? Is it once, twice, three times, maybe four? Is there a right answer to this question or is everyone different?

The reason behind this blog is there have been numerous times recently when I have been done a 'wrong' or someone else I know has and has forgiven that person. This hasn't been the first time that this person has done this either and yet we forgive them.

Are there different circumstances to forgiveness? For instance does someone who does you harm in a physical sense deserve your forgiveness more than someone who has done you emotional harm? Or are the two the same thing, that any kind of harm whether emotional or physical should be treated the same? I'm not sure to be honest. The pain from a physical blow doesn't last forever but an emotional blow can last a lifetime.

Should a partner who cheats be forgiven? Ive been in this situation myself many years ago and  I also have friends who have been and some have worked through it whilst others have broken up. I suppose in the end it comes down to how much you love that person and want it to work. Morals are a great thing to have, but pride can be mistaken for morals and that doesn't help you. If a partner cheats the pain it causes is massive, its opens up so many questions that you cant answer and the pain it causes is immense. The fact that someone you trusted has let you down is the worst there is. So what do you do? Do you stay or go? Do you try again to make it work? Or do you move on? There is no right answer here because the only person who can answer it is you. The only person who can know what the outcome could be is you. No-one else. You can ask for help and advice but at the end of the day only you know what is best for you don't you. You have to make a decision and stay with it no matter how painful that is.

Physical pain is very different. It can be a punch or kick, a beating or in the worst case scenario an act that cause loss of limb or life. Life changing experiences. Yet people forgive people for these acts all the time. Their courage to do this amazes me. Ive got into fights and forgiven and been forgiven, but Ive never been in a position to forgive a loss of life or limb caused by a psychical act so I don't know how I would react. I'm never more amazed though when people forgive others for acts against them through their faith and beliefs.

The bible states to turn the other cheek. Does that still stand true even today though? Do we really have the inner strength to do this when every fiber of our bodies are screaming for us to take revenge. Any eye for an eye doesn't work. That just creates more loss and more pain for those involved. Its difficult not to react in this way sometimes.

I try to give people second chances in all aspects of my life. Its hard sometimes to forgive, I never forget, but to hate uses up to much energy and Id rather get even to be honest.There are occasions when I haven't been able to do that and I may share with you one day what those occasions where. Not now though, not today.

I believe to forgive though and give that person another chance is a massive show of strength and not weakness. That's the mistake you make when you under estimate me. I'm a stronger person for forgiving you, far stronger than you will ever be, and for now that will comfort me. Perhaps one day they will go to far and I wont be able to forgive them. When that day comes I will walk away the stronger person. They will be left regretting what they have done for the rest of their days and the one thing they lost.


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