Monday, 13 December 2010

The Ten Worst Things About Christmas

I don't want all the Christmas haters too feel left out so here are the Top 10 things I hate about Christmas.

Number 10: The Bill That I Get After Christmas. Don't get me wrong I spend every penny I have on my wife and kids and other members of my family, but good god the bills in January are big enough too sink a Third World Country (Or Ireland which ever is richer when this blog is published.

Number 9: Comedy Specials. There are some really good ones BUT there are also some really bloody awful ones as well. The ones where they haven't had a series since January and then all of a sudden there they are at Christmas in a rehashed Only Fools and Horses script. Stop it and go away!

Number 8: Shopping Centres. What on earth comes over people? How about a little bit of respect and manners huh? Yes you fatty who has just trod on my foot for the ninth time in your quest too get one place further in front of me. Oh and you, YES YOU!! with the shopping trolley. When you pull it behind you try pulling it and not letting it drag 2 foot behind you so I fall over it.

Number 7: Turkey. No not the country the god awful bird that tastes like wood. Its an awful meat. No matter what you do to it, its dry and awful and that why we only eat it twice a year at Christmas and Easter. Lets save the Turkeys and eat a nice bit of Beef or Pork instead.

Number 6: Family Arguments. No matter how hard you try there will always be a row. Someone, somewhere is going too piss you off and you wont be able too hold back and it will kick off. Every year its the same.

Number 5: Taking The Decorations Down. I love the way they brighten the house up and make everything look great. Taking them down just reminds you that your room looks bare and needs decorating again. So off you go too buy paint and stuff just because the decorations are gone and you have too make your room look bright again.

Number 4: January Sales. I work in retail and the fact that people get sucked into believing that things are cheaper on Boxing Day makes me mad. Why cant people spend the day doing something with their families and let us have another day off at Christmas. Do you really need too spend more money the day AFTER Christmas? Well do you? No didn't think so.

Number 3: Not Getting What I Ask For: Don't get me wrong I don't ask for expensive things. A few books, a couple of DVDs perhaps a new pair of jeans. What do I get? Socks by the sack load, shaving foam and smelly shit I wont use, pants and a kettle! A kettle for crying out loud I don't even drink tea that often. I sit there looking all happy at the gifts Ive been given and guess what I'M DYING INSIDE!. Why do you ask me what I want and then not buy it for me? Pointless isn't it.

Number 2: My Kids. No I don't hate my kids chill out. I hate the fact that there will be a day soon when gradually one by one they will stop believing that Father Christmas exists and that it isn't him who eats the mince pies and the glass of Whisky that they have left out the night before. I dread the day when it comes as it will loose a little magic for me. Well until they make me a Grandad but that had better be 20 years away at least.

Number 1: It Doesn't Last Long Enough. It goes too quickly. All the hype all the excitement, all the build up and then its gone in a blink of an eye. There's always next year too look forward to though isn't there?

So that my Top 10 what have I missed that annoys you? Let me know in the comments below.

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