Sunday, 31 October 2010
The Big Interview...............Its A Very Special One This Week.
Devil: Yes Hi I am The Devil, I get a really bad press nowadays, I mean I keep getting likened to that Rooney bloke and well enough is enough, so I'm hoping to put the record straight.
Whats Your Favourite Decade?
Bob: A tough one that but I would have to say the 80's. I started to make a bit of a comeback then and appeared in some great films so yeah Id say the 80's.
Devil: The 80's? What films did you appear in then? Huh for me it was the last couple of years. I have had so much fun with those bankers its not true. They are so easy to manipulate. Greedy sod's great fun though.
Bob: Ive been in lots of films Ill have you know.
Devil: Like what?
Bob: Have you not seen me in Scooby Doo?
Devil: Oh yeah right I forgot that great performance well done you
Devil: I was being sarcastic
Bob: So was I.
Your Favourite Toy As A Child?
Bob: Can I think about that for a moment?
Devil: Like you have a brain!
Bob: Shush I'm thinking
Devil: I wont hold my breath.
Bob: I wish you would.
Devil: My favourite toy as a child was stink bombs. They were great fun. I used to use them in McDonald's all the time. I never got what people were moaning about they smelt better than the food most of the time.
Bob: Ive got it
Bob: Nope gone again.
Devil: There's a surprise, next question please.
Your Worst Ever Haircut?
Bob: I don't have hair
Devil: Or a brain.
Bob: Ha ha your so funny
Devil: That I am
Bob: At least I haven't got horns.
Devil: I show you what they are for in a minute, my worst haircut was when I decided to have a different colour. Red is so boring so I decided to dye it green. It didn't go very well I must add so I dyed it back black pretty quick.
Bob Oh yeah I remember that Frankenstein thought you were copying him didn't he? That was so funny he kept picking you up and carrying you around didn't he? I haven't laughed so much in years.
Devil: Id rather not talk about that now, next question.
If You Could Do Any Job In The World What Would It Be?
Bob: Id love to be a singer on the X factor. I could sing Dem Bones and I wouldn't have to learn the words either.
Devil: Id love to be on the X factor as well. All those young people selling their souls to Simon Cowell to get a record contract. Sell them to me instead, you would have as much chance.
Bob: Yeah that's true, may as well cut out the middle man.
Devil: True, True.
Your Most Embarrassing Moment Ever?
Bob: Him first its brilliant.
Devil: No I insist you first.
Bob: You tell them or I will.
Devil: Okay, okay. Right it all started when Frankenstein and Dracula decided to see what would happen when they took my fork to roast sausages on. Now I love my fork, I take it everywhere I go it means a lot to me. So anyway, I wake up and cant find my fork. I go downstairs (Yes I have stairs I don't live in a bungalow you know) and as I'm walking down the stairs I smell the sausages. Now I was hungry so I started to run down the stairs. As I get to the bottom I slip and well lets just say I ended up in Casualty later that day.
Bob: Hahahahah it was brilliant. Dracula panicked when he heard him coming so he threw the fork at Frankenstein who turned round as The Devil was coming down the stairs and caught him on the end of it. It hit him right in the bum. The look on his face was brilliant. Ill never forget it. There was Frankenstein trying too apologise for spearing his boss and Dracula worried about what happened to the sausages.
Devil: What about the dog then?
Bob: Id rather not talk about that either.
Devil: No lets, Ill start shall I? Okay then one day Bob here decides that he wants a suntan, so being the no brainer that he is he decides to use what he thinks is coconut oil. Except it isn't coconut oil its the gravy from the dog bowl, who had just finished his dinner. So there he is smearing it all on and is halfway up the stairs when, Bruno appears (that's my dog by the way, great pet), anyway Bob here sees him licking his lips so starts to run. He isn't quick enough though and Bruno is biting on his leg thinking its Christmas, Bob here lets out a huge scream and starts to shake his leg to get the dog off. Only problem is the more he shakes the more bones come lose, and before you know it, Bob here is a talking head and a pile of bones.
Bob: Okay, but at least I didn't get a fork up my bum
Devil: Bone boy
Bob: Fork boy
Devil: Dog lover
Bob: Next question please, I'm enjoying this.
Devil: I am as well actually its good fun isn't it
Your Favourite Album And Film Of All Time?
Bob: Ooh tough one, I have some many favourite albums, as for the film it would have to be any with me in it. Album hummmm okay then if I have too settle for one it will be Celine Dion the Greatest Hits.
Devil: Your kidding right? If I here that Titanic song one more time Ill do you. My favourite album would be Bat Out Of Hell by Meatloaf and my favourite film would be Its A Wonderful Life, I love that film.
Devil: Hey I have a soft side whats wrong with that
Bob: Nothing, nothing, just really??
Devil: Yes now shut up.
Your Worst Job Ever?
Bob: Oh that's easy having a plaster cast made of me for Asda. Do you know I stood there for 8 hours and they never paid me anymore than the minimum wage?. They have a made a fortune of off me down the years, do I get any thanks for it no!. None.
Devil: I told you, you should have made me your agent but you knew best, you wouldn't listen would you?. Its your own fault. My worst job was having to keep the fires burning down here. My Dad made me do it for years, character building he called it, cheap labour I called it, backing breaking it was, horrible job hated it.
Bob: Well you don't do it now do you? So what are you moaning for?
Devil: I'm just saying that's all.
Bob: Moan, moan, moan that's all you do.
Devil: Oh shush or Ill get you to do it next.
Your Favourite Place In The Whole World?
Bob: Mine would be any ghost train ride in the world. The look on peoples faces when I shout at them just fills me with so much joy. I love scaring the kids and then nicking their sweets when they drop them.
Devil: This may surprise you to be honest but mine is LA. The people are so vain there I could spend hours just kicking back on the beach and whispering in some blokes ear that the other bloke has bigger muscles or the other lady has bigger breasts. It gives me endless pleasure that, I don't get there as often as I would like but hey its been busy down here the last few years with all the souls that I had to collect from the bankers. Busy, busy, busy just how I like it.
Tell Us Something We Don't Know About You?
Bob: I can actually play chopsticks on my rib cage.
Devil: Can you?
Bob: Yep Ill show you later.
Devil: Okay then. Mine is I have a large collection of Sindy dolls that are all still sealed up.
Bob: The Prince Of Darkness has a collection of Sindy dolls?
Devil: Excuse me Peter Mandelson is the Prince of Darkness and yes I do. Problem:?
Bob: No (snigger's)
Well thanks for that guys, its getting a bit hot down here so I'm off up to the sunshine again. Id just like to thank you both for your time and thanks for being so honest with me.
Bob: No worries I really enjoyed that
Devil: So did I, thanks again for letting us take part.
No problem gents my pleasure.